


Until The Day It’s Not

by caramellemachiato



Series: All Moments With You [1]
Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24803029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramellemachiato/pseuds/caramellemachiato
Summary: Mew would like to believe he is good in portraying the characters assigned to him in every film or series he has acted on.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Series: All Moments With You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009926
Comments: 39
Kudos: 355





	1. Prologue

Mew would like to believe he is good in portraying the characters assigned to him in every film or series he has acted on;

Look dangerous, check.

Look seductive, check.

Look like a teenage gay boy who likes his homophobic roommate, check.

That one might have been his favorite character, he thought with a small smile that was immediately replaced with a heavy sigh as he looked out his bedroom window.

Mew likes to believe he is a good actor. Good enough to play a role he has assigned himself to act; 

Like a man who is not inlove with his co-star.

He has to play this part; has to put it in his heart and mind that it is the reality; 

Until the day it is not just an act anymore.


	2. Mew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was going smoothly;
> 
> But nothing never last, does it not?

3:42AM

The numbers on the clock situated on my bedside table glared at me. It has been a few days since I’ve been waking up at ungodly hours no matter how late I go to sleep. What time did I go to bed? 1AM? _Sigh._ Maybe if I keep my eyes closed, I might find sleep again.  
  


.

.

.

”I can’t sleep,” I whispered, eyes slowly opening to stare at the ceiling. According to the schedule P’Boss had sent me, I have a photoshoot at 10AM, and he is supposed to pick me up at 9, so I have approximately almost 3 to 4 more hours before I have to prepare for the day. And seeing that my brain is too wired up already, any thoughts of sleep is out of the equation. _Sigh_. “I‘m sighing too much,” I told myself.

Reaching out to my side table, I grabbed my phone and decided to pass the time thru social media. Scrolling thru twitter, I saw a name who just tweeted a few minutes ago and a small smile grazed my lips as I shifted to my call logs, and pressed a familiar number.   
  


“Hello, P’Mew?”

”Why are you still up?” I asked, putting on a stern voice for effect.

”I was just finishing a game and I...wait, why are you still up, P’?” Gulf questioned, and I chuckled as I imagined the frown lines on his face.

”Actually, I just woke up,” I admitted with a sigh. “I was scrolling thru twitter and saw your latest tweet so I decided to call you to confirm my theory of you staying up late again. We have a photoshoot at 10AM, Yai Nong, you should take a rest.”

A soft chuckle was heard from the other line and I felt myself smile at the sound. “I will, _Daddy,”_ he replied exasperatedly and I would bet that he just rolled his eyes at me.

”Don’t roll your eyes at me, Yai Nong,” I said and chuckled as he blubbered nonsense.

”How’d you even know that?” came the whine and I can’t help but wish he was close so I can ruffle his hair.

”I know you too much,” I replied. “But seriously though, you need to sleep, Gulf.”

”Hmm. I wasn’t sleepy yet awhile ago, but hearing your voice is making me want to close my eyes,” Gulf told me softly, and I cursed my heart for starting up with those few words. “Talk to me more, P.”

”I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be flattered or offendend, Nong,” I joked, as I willed my heart to calm down. “What do you want me to talk about?”

”Anything,” he said, sounding sleepy and that made me smile. A sleepy Gulf is an adorable sight, I mean, Gulf is adorable in general, but there is something with his sleepy tone that’s just endearing.   
  


Unable to really refuse any of his requests I started talking about what happened the previous day in detail. How my mother insisted to take Chopper away from me during the morning run and insisted to do it instead, or how my sister forced me to taste all the pastries she was making that made me add another extra hour on my workout, and even the progess on my thesis even if I know he won’t understand most of it.

”...so the research I was reading from England could have some relevance to the study I’m making. According to it, there were...” I paused, hearing my companion’s heavy breathing on the other line. “Nong?” When no answer came, I smiled and whispered, “Good night, _tua eng_ ”.

***

As I entered the studio, I wai’ed and greeted the bustling staff good morning as I headed to the dressing room.

”Oh, thank god!”   
  


My eyes widen as P’Joan stalked towards me with a scowl. She stood infront of me and even if I am much taller, her glare is menacing. She pointed to her right and my eyes followed, “Can you please tell him to _not_ destroy his hair and makeup. I have retouched him for the 3rd time and I swear to god if there’s a 4th, I am going to strangle that boy no matter how cute he looks!”

I blinked, and chuckled. “Good morning, P’Joan,” I smiled. “I bought everyone coffee, so get one and relax for a minute. I’ll handle it. Wouldn’t want my co-model to get strangled by our makeup artist. Can you do my makeup after 10minutes?”

She signed and massaged her temples, “Nong’s been testing my patience this morning. Sorry for taking it out on you. Just...go and control your partner. I’ll go back to you after 10minutes. Wake him up before the shoot. Good thing we have an hour and a half more to prepare,” then she stalked off to look for the promised coffee.

Walking towards the direction she pointed earlier, I found Yai Nong with his head nestled on his arms. I can see the makeup marks on his clothes and his hair getting unruffled. Giving a sigh, I pulled up a chair and sar beside him. “Nong,” I started softly, as I placed the drinks I was holding on the table. When he gave no signs of hearing me, I reached out and lightly played with his ear, “Nong, wake up”. Watching the other scrunch his nose made me smile, and slowly his eyes opened and locked with mine.

”You’re here,” he whispered and his lips curling up with a small smile.

”I am. What are you doing causing P’Joan problems so early in the morning?” I teased as he sat up and brought his seat closer to mine then slumped his body on mine. His eyes still look hazy and he’s acting like a needy kitten that I allowed him to use me as my body pillow and wrapped my arm around his shoulder.   
  


“Hmmm...sleepy.”

”Let’s have you awake before P’Joan makes do of her threat if you destroy your hair and makeup again,” I said as I reached out and handed him a warm cup. “I got you black tea with honey, since you told me your throat’s hurting.”

  
He looked up at me with a small smile and I smiled back, “Thank you, P’.”

”You’re welcome. Now be a good boy and don’t destroy your hair and make up. If you’re still sleepy just sleep leaning on me or you can rest your head on my lap, okay?” And he gave a nod as he continued sleepily sipping his tea.

  
And true enough, when P’Joan came to do my hair and makeup, Gulf is softly snoozing on my shoulder. I was carefully turning the pages of the research I was reading as to not jostle the younger one awake. Due to our busy schedule, I try to catch up on my readings even for a few minutes.   
  


“You spoil him too much,” P’Joan noted as he dabbed my face with concealer. “He’s been staring off to space and glaring at the walls since he got here this morning, but now he looks like a giant bunny.”

”He’s just not accustomed to mornings. You should be used to it by now, P.”

”I know. What amazes me is how much he listens to you while all we got are glares and silent treatment,” She chuckled. I only gave a smile as I have heard this notion a few more times. Gulf is quite skittish with people, but once he gets comfortable, you get used to his antics. P’Joan has been our makeup artist in most of our photoshoots and guestings that she’s seen most of Gulf’s moodiness in the mornings, ut somehow still doesn’t know how to manage it. I mean, most people don’t know how to deal when Gulf’s in one of his moods so they always push me to go to him and be the one to handle it.

”You just have to know what to do,” I replied.

”As I said, you spoil him,” she rolled her eyes.

“It’s okay,” I said as I I reached up a hand to move a hair out of his face. “I like spoiling him.”

***

The photoshoot ended without a glitch and everyone decided to have dinner at a nearby restaurant that the management reserved. And since both Gulf and I had no other commitments for the day, we both went with our managers. As we arrived, everyone was having a great time while eating good food, and I felt myself relax as Gulf ate silently beside me. I added his favorite dishes on his plate and he looked at me with a smile and a soft thank you, and that got people around us teasing us from being too much. Used to this already, we both just laughed and continued the conversations flowing.

”Gulf?”

  
The occupants of the table looked up to see a two guys looking at Gulf.

”Prem? New?” Gulf asked and stood up. “Hey! It’s been awhile! Oh, um these two are my neighbors since gradeschool but we all parted ways for college. These are Prem and New. And these are my colleagues,” Gulf started the introduction of everyone at the table and lastly gestured to me, “and this is P’Mew.”   
  


They both wai’ed at everyone, but I saw the other one (Prem?) looking at me with unreadble look before the one beside him spoke, “Can we borrow Gulf for a moment? We would like to introduce him to my fiance and Prem’s girlfriend.”

”Can I go, P?” Gulf suddenly turned to me, and both his friends followed with a confused look. I suddenly felt everyone’s eyes on us but Gulf seemed to not notice, just waiting for my answer.

I gave him a smile, “Ofcourse, Nong. Go catch up with your friends.”

  
As the three leave, P’Best sighed and said, “Sure get the permission of the boyfriend but not the manager.” And everyone at the table laughed.

***  
  


As everyone started ordering glasses of wine, I excused myself to answer a call from my sister. I walked out the restaurant as I told her that I won’t be eating at home for tonight and to tell her to leave Chopper in my room. Finishing the call, I was about to go back in when I heard a familiar voice.

”...it has been years, isn’t?” Gulf said, and two voices chuckled, noting it to be his two friends.   
  


“Yeah. I am getting married and Prem’s preparing to pop the question to his girlfriend soon,” New informed him goodnaturedly.

”Really? Congratulations!” Gulf exclaimed.

”What about you, Gulf? Any actresses you’re seeing?” Another voice asked, and I recognized that it was that Prem.

”Oh. No, after I broke up with Poom, I haven’t got time to date. And I’ve been busy with my internship and my acting career,” Gulf answered.

”Really? So, no girlfriend? How about a boyfriend, then?” Prem added. “Is it your co-actor? P’Mew?”

”P’Mew is not my boyfriend, Prem. We’re just close with each other,” came Gulf’s reply.

”Well, you two sure looked cozy in there.”

”Do we have a problem, Prem?” Gulf asked, voice suddenly turning serious.

”Nothing, man. Just that if you stick to him too much, you won’t get a chance to look for a girlfriend that you can settle down with, you know. You won’t be acting in a show with him forever,” Prem answered, nonchalant. “Don’t you want to have what New and I have with our partners?”

There was silence, and I didn’t notice I stopped breathing.

”I do.”

It was answered softly, but I heard it and I felt myself slump back on the wall, running a hand on my face.

”Cool, then. So my girlfriend has cousin and I was thinking I can set you two up? She’s pretty cute and the same age as us. She’s a medicine student,” Prem said. “What do you say?”

”I...I can’t date while we’re preparing for the season 2. The fans won’t like it and it might affect the success of the series” Gulf answered.

”Oh, so after the filming and your marketing then? My birthday’s coming up. She’s coming there and you are invited too so I can introduce you.”

”Oh, yeah. Okay.”

  
I heard enough, so I squared my shoulders and walked back inside the restaurant. As I sat back down, I reached for my wine glass and drank it in one go, before I called everyone’s attention. “I’m sorry but P’Boss and I have to leave. I had something to finish for my thesis and my mother haa something to talk about with me,” I informed them with a smile. Standing up with my manager, we bid everyone good bye and that wa when Gulf came back.

”You’re leaving already?” He asked me.

The conversation I overheard earlier replayed in my head, and I willed myself to give him a smile and a nod.

”Oh, take care then, P’Mew,” he gave a smile and I would’ve felt good seeng his smile but right now I just wanted to get away from everything as I felt the smile I plastered my face fading. _Not yet. Wait til you’re alone._

  
After giving everyone another wai, I strided out with P’Boss behind me and got in the car. I leaned back and closed my eyes as I felt the car moving.

”Hey, you okay?” I heard P’Boss ask.

”Yeah. I just want to go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will not follow a specific mewgulf timeline, but will begin in preparation for season 2.
> 
> Also, most of this will be in Mew’s POV.
> 
> Enjoy.


	3. Mew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “One heart, one love.”

_  
Highlight_

_Highlight_

_Highlight_

A yawn escapes my lips and I rubbed my eyes to fend off the sleepiness I’m starting to feel. I was only on my third reading for the day and it’s already— I glanced at the clock, _9:30PM—_ why is the time moving so slow today? Closing the lid of my higlighter, I reached up my arms and stretched, before slumping down my study table. It was one of those rare days where I had no schedule and I was given free reign on what to do with my free time so I decided to drive to my condo and spend the entire day fixing the place since it’s been awhile since it looked decent. After organizing my papers, I caught up with my readings, trying to tune out the loud thinking my brain is doing.

_“Don’t you want to have what New and I have with our partners?”_

_”I do.”  
_

  
Slowly, I sat up and looked out the window. Bangkok is bustling with life; the colored lights from different establishments painting the night in neon, cars stuck in traffic, people walking and talking. Everything looked so fleeting and it somewhat gives me a sense of comfort from seeing this scenery even if I have seen this a hundred times or even more. It keeps me grounded, knowing that in this scenery I am witnessing, I have a small part to play; that even if I am sitting here alone with unwanted thoughts, my existence is included in this picture of the lively night life of Bangkok.

The vibration of my phone took my attention away from my window, and I saw a notification coming from the person I least wanted to talk to tonight; even if it is his presence I have been craving for. I know I have no right to feel hurt about what I heard, I should have known better. I’ve been in the same situation a few years back and even though I have told myself over and over to not repeat the same mistake twice, I can’t keep my heart from wanting what it wants; loving who it wants to love. I only have myself to blame, really.  
  


Separating personal and professional affairs had been quite a feat for me, seeing that I had a history of liking my co-star from my previous series, and that ended drastically with being the entire Bangkok knowing about it. I know when Art did that live and told what happened, I know I should have felt mad and betrayed; but that time, I did feel mad but I was more mad at myself for not keeping myself in check and pushing my feelings on someone that they felt trapped and felt the need to vent to the world bout it. My career may as well be on a dead end then, so I tried focusing my energy on my masters, since studying has always been my solace and that one thing that I seem to be very good at. But then, Tharntype happened. And I met Gulf—

These feelings weren’t like those I felt with Art. With Art, I can now say it was all about the heat of the moment with all our NC scenes and kisses that made me feel hot and bothered. But with Gulf, it feels warm— like that blanket you snuggle with on a cold rainy night. It wasn’t instant, either. I know I had to keep professional with this cute guy I have been paired with. And seeing that he was quite an introvert, I took it upon myself to initiate conversations and to ease him into skinship because from the novel itself, we would be quite intimate in many scenes. I had no problems with it, seeing that I am naturally a tactile person, but Gulf wasn’t. So the hand holding started, then the back hugs, and then the sudden kiss from the workshop that Gulf initiated, much to my surprise. I felt the moment Gulf started leaning back whenever I hug him, or when he just curls himself smaller whenever we cuddle on the floor practicing our lines. And it felt wonderful, finally gaining this man’s trust. It felt nice when I was the first person he looks for when he arrives at the workshop venue, or when he just tries to subtly get my attention when I talk to the other co-actors. It was adorable when he just flops down on my lap when we have a break from filming and just starts ranting about how hot it is, or how he just sleepily glare at people as he rests on my shoulder. It felt _nice_ being wanted; feeling wanted.   
  


But those weren’t the reasons I started harboring feelings for him. If I were to be specific, it was that moment at the boat from island where we needed to film for Tharn meeting Type’s family. We weren’t on good terms when we left Bangkok, I actually don’t remember what we fought about but what happened after that, I remember vividly. How on the ride back home, Gulf sat close to me, our sides touching and we shared his earphones as he showed me the first commercial ad he filmed from before. He was just talking nonstop, and I was surprised at first. I know Gulf isn’t one to initiate conversations, opting to just answer what was asked from him or silently listening to the conversations happening around him. But at that moment, he was just talking, from how he was scouted for the ad, to the moment he told his parents about It, and the entire process of filming the said ad. He was sharing how he was feeling in every shot that was shown, or at one point he felt so nervous that he felt like puking. It was enchanting, and I was _enthralled_ by everything about him. I found myself listening to the soft tones of his voice, and seeing how his cheeks would crinkle in each smile he makes. It fascinated me that it took me a moment back then to realize that my heart was beating so hard.

The incoming call from my phone ended, and I let out a sigh. I know avoiding Gulf won’t do any good, especially since we are supposed to be more intimate on the next season and we’ll be filming soon, and even before that we have quite a number of events together that would definitely require more touching and flirting. I just needed the moment to compose myself, convincing that whatever I heard from wasn’t affecting me, that whatever pain I was feeling was only of my own doing; I can’t push and let Gulf bear the consequences of these feelings. He is free to do whatever his heart desires.

Another call came and I raised a brow as I see the unknown number. Picking up my phone, I answered before it went to voicemail, “Hello? Who is this?”

A chuckle was heard from the other line, “Are you too famous now that you don’t recognize my voice?”

Eyes widening, a smile came to my lips as I replied excitedly, “P’Nadech?!”

”Can you stop calling me P’ when you’re a few month older than me, you ass!”

I laughed and leaned back on my chair, “ Well, it’s not my fault that people think you’re older than me. How are you, P’? How’s Boston?”

”Actually, I have a favor.”

”What is it?”

”Can you pick me up at the airport?”

”You’re back in Bangkok?!”

”Surprise!”

***

I honked the car twice and saw the man waving and walking towards me with his luggage in tow. I rolled down the windows and lightly punched his stomach, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you’re coming back. Put your luggage in the trunk.”

He laughed and did as I told before mounting the car at the passenger seat. “No welcome hugs?”

”You don’t deserve my hugs,” I joked as I drove away from the airport and the still busy streets of Bangkok. “So, why’d you suddenly come back? I thought your contract at Boston University is still on going for a year?”

”What’s with the questions already? Can’t you feed me first before interrogating me?”

”You have no right to complain since you gave me no time to prepare for your sudden appearance. Does P’Yaya even know you’re back here?”

”Of course she knows. She’d kill me if I didn’t tell her,” he replied with an eye roll. “She’s actually a big part of the reason why I came back, but to answer your previous question, the dean at Boston University let me off a year early because I finished my research earlier than expected.”

”Congrats, man! But why is P’Yaya a big part of the reason?”

”You’re the first person I’m telling and I know you can keep a secret Mew. I’m proposing to her,” he informed me and I turned to look at him with a big smile.

”Oh wow...finally!”

”Yep. So now I’m here. I’ll meet her parents a few weeks from now to get their blessing first and Yaya’s cruise is ending half a year from now, so I have 6 months to prepare. But I’ll also be applying as a professor at Bangkok Uni. They’ve invited me back. But enough of me, I heard you’re getting your PhD? How’s that so far?”

“It’s moving. It may be going a bit slow, with the acting and stuff, but I am making progress.”

”Of course, Mr. Perfect, with your charming smile and smart-ass brain. No wonder your fans are so crazed about you, really. Even your on-screen partner is obviously swooning. What’s his name? Gulf?”

At the mention of his name, I tensed for a second, before relaxing and replying, “Yeah. That’s his name.” He suddenly got quiet and I can feel his eyes on me, studying me and I know I’ve been caught. Only a few people can see through me, especially since I am quite good in hiding what I really feel, but P’Nadech’s always been one of the few who can tell when something’s going through my head. “Is there anything in particular you wanted to eat? Where are you staying by the way?”

”Changing the topic, I see,” he observed loudly and I just chuckled dryly. This man and his sharp senses. “But I want some thai food. And as for where I am staying, I haven’t actually booked a hotel yet, so let me search first and—“

”Oh nonsense, if you have no place yet, you can just stay at my condo for the meantime,” I offered and gave no room for argument as I drove us back to my condo and just opted to order food.

***

Nadech Kugimiya.

A few years back, he was a fellow assistant professor at Bangkok University. Seeing that we are both new to the surroundings, we both stuck with each other and instantly became close. He is a chemical engineering major, whereas as I am industrial engineering so we had a lot of topics we could discuss especially if its about our theses. Those years, I was also a model and had some minor roles and he was supportive of my work. He was also the first person I came out to as gay, after telling my family, which is why his part in my life quite left an impact. We may have been close friends for almost a year then but the bond we had is quite strong. When I came out to him, I was ready for the judgement or the inevitable dissolve of our friendship, but what happened was the opposite. He smiled at me and thanked me for trusting him and informed me that his brother, Luke, also came out to the family so he doesn’t mind and sees nothing wrong with it. Our families met and became close too, and I met P’Yaya, his long term girlfriend who was a chef to a cruise ship. Although, he was invited by Boston University due to his research the same year I got the What The Duck Series.

  
The man gave a heavy sigh as he pushed away his take-out box and slumped back at the back of the sofa, patting his stomach. “That was delicious,” he said and reached for his beer.

”I get the feeling this condo will be full of take out boxes in the time that you’re here,” I commented as I drank my water, since I’ll be having an early day tomorrow.

”Oh shush you, I actually picked up a thing or two from Yaya, although Luke was a better cook, for sure. Speaing of my brother, he is coming back here as well,” he straightened and looked at me. “I hear you have a new company, Mr. CEO? You’ve been busy,” he smirked.

”It’s not extravagant. It’s just a talent agency although I’m the only one they’re handling as of the moment,” I informed.

”Any chance you can add my brother to that?”

”Huh?”

”Luke’s been scouted as a model back in Boston, but I have no confidence in those people who might be leeching off my brother. He was actually the one who told me about your management and if he’ll be handled by the same people that you trust, then I can rest a little easier. That is, of course, if you agree. I told Luke I’ll be telling you but gave him no assurance that I’ll get you to agree, so no worries,” P’Nadech said with a smile.

”Well,” I started, thinking of the people I have in my quaint company and if they can handle another person aside from me. “I’ll talk with P’Boss about it. I’ll update you.”

”Thank you. So,” he smirked and I already knew what was to come next, “can I ask if I’m right with my assumption that you have feelings for your co-star?”

I sighed and gave him a playful glare, “You don’t beat around the bush, don’t you?”

”You know I don’t, Mew. Answer the question please.”

Staring at him for a few seconds, I let out a weak chuckle and said, “You’re right.”

“How are you? Like, for real, Mew. What are you feeling?” he asked seriously and held my gaze as he waited for me reply.

”I don’t know,” I started. “I like him but at the same time I don’t want to. Because, I’ve been in this situation before and I ended up hurt and Art’s career never recovered. I’m afraid that if I acted on it that Gulf would have to suffer the consequences. He’s a great actor, P’. And he’s still young. He doesn’t need someone like me who cant seem to control his emotions with his on-screen partner everytime.”

”Does he feel the same?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know. And does it really matter?”

”Mew, you know he’s not the same with Art, right? How can you know for sure that it would end in vain if you don’t tell him?”

”Because, I’m so scared to get hurt like that again, P’. And I know Gulf is different from Art. I know that. Which is exactly why I want to protect him more. He’s only 22. There’s so much more in store for him with his talent and charm. I know he can go a long way. So if protecting him means staying beside him just as his Phi, then so be it,” I answered, determination in my eyes. “The second season will be filmed in a few weeks time, and after that there would be more events with us. But after all that’s done, I can quietly step out and let him have his time to shine on his own. Until then, I guess I just have to be more guarded.”

P’Nadech looked straight into my eyes for a few seconds before he let out a sigh, “I can’t tell you what to do, but it looks like you have given this much thought. Know that if it gets to be too much, I’m here for you, alright? You know I feel quite protective of you.”

Giving him a small smile, I nodded. “Thank you, P’.”

***

  
I gave people a wai as I walked the hallways towards the meeting room. It’s the first day of the script reading and I saw the support the fans have been sending thru the social media. It made me smile and hoped that we can live up to their expectations for this second season. I sipped the iced coffee on my hand and pushed the door open.

New and familiar faces greeted me, and I gave them all a smile and a nod as I headed to the empty seat at the head of the table. Gulf was already there, on his phone, but he looked up and smiled at me as I pulled the seat beside him and sat down.

”Good morning, P’. You didn’t answer my call last night?” He asked, with that innocent look on his face that I can’t help but place a palm on his cheek and give a soft squeeze.

”I was reading my research and fell asleep early. Sorry, Nong,” I lied then I sat on my seat properly to face P’Mame as she started the reading of the first few scenes. As we progressed with the reading, Gulf started to lean more towards me so I supported him and placed my arm around his shoulder, like we always do when we seat together. I try to shush my brain from all the thinking its doing with this simple gesture; what felt natural to me before now seems a bit like a chore as I try to not think too much of this. And no one has to know what this is making me feel. Then, Gulf settled on my shoulder as he flipped the pages and I paused a few seconds, staring at his dainty fingers following through the lines that was being recited by the other actors before I caught myself and looked up.

Only to catch P’Mame watching me with careful eyes.

I tilted my head to the side a bit, giving her a small smile and wordlessly asking if something’s wrong. But she just continued to watch me, then her eyes shifted to Gulf before she shook her head and went back to reading the script in her hands.

The meeting lasted for almost 8 hours and we were given a few minutes by P’Tee and P’Mame to talk with each other before we all call it a day. This is a small introduction of everyone before we all started the workshop together. Gulf and I stood up, him going to First and the other actors, while I was stopped by Rebecca and was asked a few things. I smiled kindly at her and said, “You know it won’t be hard since I already feel a bit protective of you, Nong. I have a younger sister and although she is older than you, I can envision you as her.”

She beamed, “Thank you, P’. I’m an only child but if I were to have an older brother, I’d definitely like it if it was you”.

”I’m flattered,” I smiled as I patted her head. “I should probably start calling you princess then, should I?”

”Oh, I—if you think it’s best, P’,” she replied and I can see a faint blush on her cheeks that made me chuckle.

”Becca, he’s supposed to be your brother. You cant go blushing when he’s near you,” P’Mame suddenly teased as she walked near us and everyone gave a playful chuckle as they teased Rebecca. I joined the banter and slid my arm around her protectively, acting the big brother role, “Stop teasing princess,” I glared laughingly.

Rebecca ducked her head down, her ears now red but she settled her features and looked up, “It’s not my fault I find my brother charming,” she replied and I looked down at her smiling before giving her a high five. We talked for a few more minutes before she was called by her manager and Gulf with First stopped by infront of me. I widened by eyes, a bit surprised from their sudden appearance before I smiled at First who I can see was a bit uncomfortable.

”Nong First, I’m looking forward to working with you. Take it easy on Tharn, will you?” I joked, trying to break the tension and it worked as the other finally looked up and gave a small smile and a nod.

”It’s an honor working with you, P’Mew,” he started. “I have watched your other series and I really liked your acting. I’ve been studying how you control your facial features and such and I— I hope I learn more from you,” he stuttered, a bit red from embarrasment, I guess.

”Don’t hesitate to come to me for questions. As long as I can help you with your acting, I’ll do what I can,” I offered gently then my phone rang so I gave them an apologetic smile as I answered, “Hello,P?”

”I just talked to your mom, we’ll be having dinner at 7pm at your house,” P’Nadech informed me and I swear I can hear his smirk.

”How dare you make plans with my family before informing me,” I replied playfully, “I’m done with the meeting anyways. I’ll meet you there,” Then I hanged up the phone and looked up at the two still standing infront of me.

I saw Gulf looking at me then he asked, “Have plans for tonight, P’?”

”Yeah. A sudden family dinner,” I answered as I pocketed my phone. “I should be taking my leave then.”

”P’, want to play a game tonight after your family dinner?” Gulf said.

”Oh, I’ll see, Nong,” I said gently and before I can think twice, I patted both their heads and headed out. I bid goodbye to the others and left the room, not looking back. I tried to pretend to not have seen Gulf’s surprised face when I patted his head as a goodbye. I tried not to put much thought into it. This is how it should have been in the first place. A clear boundary. A clear line to separate work from personal feelings.

This is the first time I didn’t hug him as a form of farewell. 


	4. Mew

It was quite a hot today.

Despite unbottoning three buttons of my polo and the iced coffee I am currently drinking, it is not enough to even cool me off from the heat coming from the sun. It’s only 3pm and the briefing for the event will start in a few minutes and my partner still hasn’t arrived because they were stuck in traffic. Which is good, atleast it will give me enough time to prepare my heart for today.

I already knew what was expected of us for today. P’Boss had informed me in the car on the way here and to be honest I was quite surprised. This show was known to bring together people to act friendly and such, but this is the first time I have heard that they specifically asked the guests to act like lovers. Hearing that word alone— _lovers—_ is enough to almost start a headache. I was only starting to get a hang of slightly distancing myself from Gulf, not being too much, and now we have to do this.   
  


And this heat is not helping at all.

After taking a sip, I raised my cooled hand due to the moist of the cup and placed it on my nape, willing the coolness to calm me in some way as I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh.  
  


”So sorry we’re late,” a voice came from my side and I opened my eyes to see Gulf sitting beside me, wiping his sweat as the makeup artist and hairstylist came. “Hi, Phi,” he smiled at me and I let out a chuckle. Placing down my cup, I grabbed a tissue and proceeded to help him dab the sweat on his face.

”Bangkok traffic is the worse. No need to apologize, for sure everyone understands. Close your eyes,” I said and he did so, automatically bringing his face closer as I dabbed his eyes off of his sweat. After doing so, I tapped his nose and let the others do his makeup.

”You weren’t online last night, Phi. I was waiting for you,” he suddenly informed me and I tensed a bit. I knew we usually play games with his other friends, and it has been awhile since I joined because I never really had the time. But last night, I wasn’t necessarily doing anything. I have finished my first draft, and the dinner with my family and P’Nadech went noisily because the guy just had to try and steal my family away with his charm. So, I was really free last night. Maybe I was being petty, but I just felt like I needed a time on my own knowing that I’ll be seeing him today.   
  


“Sorry, Nong. I was just tired and went to bed early,” I lied and felt bad about it.

”It’s okay, Phi. I only played once anyways, since I wasn’t feeling up to it. By the way, Phi. For tomorrow—“

”Good afternoon, P’Mew and P’Gulf, can we start the briefing for the shoot?” The assistant director came and we both nodded as we were instructed of thenthings we have to do. So, we’ll go to the market and buy some groceries of a menu of our choice and cook it, then a dinner afterwards. That doesn’t sound so hard, we basically have done those things already anyways.

”—and you have to act like lovers the entire time.”

”Oh, so like just the usual us, right? I thought we’d be asked to act like friends. That would have been more difficult to do,” Gulf suddenly commented and almost every head turned his way and I let out a chuckle. He looked up, eyes wide to see that he caught eveyone’s attention then turned to look at me questionably. “What did I say?” He whispered to me.

”Nothing, Nong,” I pinched his cheek before turning to the others, “But he’s right. We just have to act like the usual us. Do you have specific topics that you want us to talk about for the shoot?” I asked, successfully diverting their attention from Gulf seeing that the younger was growing uncomfortable from it. I placed a hand on his thigh and gave it a little squeeze, and as I was removing it, he grabbed my hand. I gave him a glance and saw that he still has his eyes casted down, focusing on my hand as he started playing with my fingers and the ring on my thumb. He does this sometimes to help calm his nerves so I smiled and let him do as he pleased, then turned back to the assistant director and listened to the instructions.

***

The shoot ended earlier than expected and after the dinner Gulf and I had, we both gave our thanks to the staff and started heading out towards our respective cars.

It had been _wonderful._ And I know I shouldn’t let my heart feel this way about what we did today, but despite the camera and people’s eyes following us, it felt as if I was just enjoying the day with the person I cared for. The intial tense I felt in my shoulders vanished as soon as Gulf grabbed my hand, and the conversation flowing easily between us. Even the flirty remarks and playful teasing just came out naturally that I forgot we were getting filmed. My hand is still tingling, definitely missing the other hand it was just holding tightly a few moments ago. Clenching my hand, I willed my self some restraint from the thoughts swimming in my head once again.

”P’Mew!”

I looked back, and saw Gulf and P’Best heading towards us. Gulf is carrying his overnight bag, don’t tell me—

“P’, can I sleepover at your house today? I was supposed to ask you but the director talked to us then it slipped my mind,” Gulf explained excitedly, a big expectant smile on his face.

I stared back, eyes wide and surprised by the sudden question. I turned to look at P’Best who has an apologetic look as he started saying, “I’m sorry, Mew. I have a family emergency and its in the opposite road from this market. My brother just called and told me our mother fell down from the stairs.”

”Oh, sure. Is your mother okay, P?” I asked as I got Gulf’s bag from his hands.

”They’re at the ER right now, they said it’s not that serious but I still want to see it with my own eyes. I’m really sorry about this. But since you and Gulf have the same schedule tomorrow then I thought it would be best and your home is closer from this place and the venue for tomorrow’s event too.”

”That’s true. But does your mother know about this, Nong?” I turned to Gulf who nodded.

”Okay then, you better go, P’Best. So you won’t get there too late,” I told Gulf’s manager and he gave me a grateful smile. “Don’t worry about work, okay? I got Gulf. Go to your mom.”

”Thanks, Mew. Both your schedules will be late in the afternoon so I’ll be back by then,” he said and headed to their car while Gulf and I walked to my car. I opened the door and guided him inside, covering his head so he won’t hit it before closing the door then placing his bag on the trunk and went on the opposite side of the car to get in. As I closed the door, Gulf was already telling P’Boss the reason of his presence.

”P’Boss, what time do we need to be at the venue tomorrow?” I asked as we drove away from the market.   
  


“Around 5:30,” he informed me. “The live will start at 7 but you have a promotional shoot for the product.”

”I see. Do you have the briefing for the event?”

”Yeah. They’ll have you act like you just got out of bed to brush your teeth and such and ofcourse you have to play some games. The games are like the usual stuff you’ve done already but there’s a new one, though nothing extreme,” P’Boss explained as he turned to a familiar street. The market we went to was roughly 15minutes from my home or less without the traffic.

”Okay, Gulf and I will be ready by 5pm then,” I said before turning to Gulf who has a wondered look on his face.

I raised a brow, “What?”

He gave a soft smile and shrugged, “You sound like such a CEO, Phi.”

”Well, he is a CEO, nong,” P’Best answered with a teasing tone. “But anyway, I have no doubts that you’ll be ready tomorrow at 5, Mew what I’m worried is your giant roommate for tonight. Please don’t let him sway you to staying up til dawn playing games, okay? Atleast one of you should be an adult.”

”Hey, I’m an adult, okay,” Gulf complained giving P’Boss a glare through the rearview mirror.

”Riiiight,” P’Boss teased.

”Okay stop fighting, you two,” I chuckled. “And yes, I won’t let him stay up too late.”

”Make sure. I know you are weak to his bambi eyes but please try to resist, Mew. Don’t give in all the time,” he chided. “And I know you’re both tired so get as much rest as you can. The next few weeks will get even busier.”

”Yes, Phi,” Gulf and I answered at the same time as my manager parked the car right outside our house. Gulf and I went out and got our things and went inside. My family were eating dinner when we saw them and we wai’d.

”Oh, I didn’t know Nong Gulf will be visiting us tonight,” my mom asked. Standing up to give me a kiss on a cheek and giving Gulf the same. “Did you boys have dinner already?”

”Good evening, mae,” Gulf greeted her and proceeded to wai’d at my sister and my father.

”P’Best has a family emergency so Gulf just came to sleep here instead of going through traffic to get home. We have the same schedule tomorrow as well,” I explained as I went to give my sister a kiss on her head and a wai to my father. “We had dinner at the shoot, mae,” and just then a small thing wearing a tigger costume came running and stood on its paws to grab my attention. “Hey boy,” I said and scooped him up, “You have a visitor, Chopper.”

I walked towards Gulf who has a smile on his face and reached out towards me to grab at the dog. The pup in my arms started squirming and I passed him to Gulf and he started barking excitedly and licking the younger’s face. My family and I laughed, no doubt remembering how Chopper was so cautious of Gulf the first few times he was here and now here they are practically acting like bestfriends.

”Oh by the way, Mew. I lent you Mazda to Nadech,” my father suddenly informed me. “Heard he doesn’t have a car yet so I offered to lend him your car. Hope that’s fine.”

”It’s okay dad,” I sighed, “but please stop spoiling him whenever he’s here. He’s gonna think he’s your favorite or something.”

”Oh come on, Nadech is like a son to us already,” mother replied with a chuckle as she went back to her seat to continue with dinner.

”Yeah, yeah. Just remember I’m the favorite, not him,” I teased as I ushered Gulf towards the stairs. “We’ll be up in my room then.”

We ascended the stairs, with Gulf still cradling Chopper and headed to my room. Once inside, I place his overnight bag on my study table and started opening it to take out his pajamas before taking Chopper and pushing him towards the bathroom. “Go take a bath,” I commanded and he did as told. And as soon as the door closed, I lét out a sigh and slumped down on the floor. I grabbed Chopper and stared at his eyes and said, “Just how am I supposed to act tonight, Chopper?”

***

After changing to our sleep clothes, we both decided to play a bit since it’s still early. I went down the kitchen to grab us some drinks and snacks and I told Gulf to set the game he wanted to play. When I returned to my room he was sitting at the floor, back rested on my bed and on his phone.   
  


“So what are we playing?”

”Tekken,” he smirked at me and I scoffed.

”Think you can beat me?” I challenged.

”Oh please, Phi. As if you can beat me,” he replied haughtily, passing me my controller as I sit on the floor beside him.

As we started playing, the noisy bickering started and escalated quickly as we are both quite hot-headed in games. Sometimes I’ll rile up Gulf and try to grab his controller and he’d shout at me which would make me laugh out loud, so I do it a couple more times. It’s a good thing my parents’ and sister’s room are nowhere near mine because of the noise we are making. And just like that, the time passed and by the time I glanced at my clock, it’s already nearing midnight.

”I think we should stop playing, Yai Nong. If we got more pumped than this, we’ll have a hard time sleeping,” I told Gulf who’s taking a sip of his water.

”Okay,” he agreed. “What about we watch something instead?”

”Sure. We can watch a film. Anything you have in mind?”

”Hmmmm. How about an anime, phi? I did say I want to start watching One Piece,” he suggested with a smile, standing up to grab the remote. “Is it on netflix?”

Stretching my limbs, I stood up and walked towards my cabinet. “Are you sure? That’s quite a long anime, nong. And no, it’s not on netflix but I have a copy on my harddrive. Let me just get it.”

”Yeah, we can watch a few episodes til we fall asleep.”

”Okay. I can lend you my harddrive so you can watch it when you’re free.”

”Eh? No need, Phi. I can just go here to watch.”

”That will be a hassle for you, Nong. It’ll be easier if you just borrow my harddrive. I don’t mind,” I said as I set up the television before turning to see him already on bed, and he opened the blankets to silently tell me to join him which I did.

”I want to watch it with you, Phi,” Gulf suddenly whispered and if I wasn’t beside him on the bed I wouldn’t have heard it, but I did and I raised my head to look at him, but he was staring at the tv earnestly. 

Silently, I just took the remote in his hand and pressed the episode one.

As the music of the familiar anime opening started, I placed my arm around his shoulder to get more comfortable and without taking his eyes off the television, he shifted closer to me and let half of his body rest on mine and his head on my shoulder. This is nothing new. We’ve been in much more intimate positions before, but somehow this feels different— special. I placed my head on his and I can smell my shampoo on his hair. We were on the 4th episode when I started yawning and I nuzzled my face on Gulf’s hair.

”You smell like me,” I whispered sleepily, body relaxing and arms tightening around this person I treasure. “I like it.”

Gulf shook a but as he chuckled, “Is that your way of telling me to change my body wash to the one your using, Phi?”

”Maybe,” I replied jokingly.

We were quiet for a few minutes and I already closed my eyes when I hear him whisper, “I like smelling like you, too.”


	5. Gulf

It was the sudden explosion sound that got me opening my eyes, and I looked up to see that the television is still on, playing the anime we were watching. My eyes then looked at the clock on P’Mew’s side table and saw that it’s 4:27 in the morning, obviously too early to be up. I reached for the remote control and switched off the television, and the movement made me realize that there was an arm resting on my waist. I looked back and saw that P’Mew is sleeping soundly.

  
  


Not wanting to wake up my companion, I gently turned around so I have unhindered view of P’Mew’s relaxed and bare face. There are a slight darkness under his eyes, but despite that he looks divine. I brought up a hand and gently traced the bridge of his nose, and I chuckled as he scrunched his face before it went back to its relaxed state. I continued my soft ministrations on his eyebrows and eyelashes, carefully watching him in his most vulnerable state.

  
  


People who know me can instantly tell that I am not one to initiate anything, really; be it a conversation or skinships, especially skinships. I feel awkward and I like to keep to myself at most times, a trait that I have obviously got from both my parents seeing that both my sister and I are quite reserved. 

  
  


But ever since I was casted as Type, I felt an unfathomable connection when P’Mew stood on that stage with me, acting as my Tharn just for one scene. The way I was suddenly too shy that I got so red despite the fact that I never felt that way with the other Tharns who I acted with; how I was just enticed by his eyes that had such warmth when he gazed at me, and even if it only lasted for a few minutes, having his entire attention focused on me made me feel happy and content. Which is why when I learned that he also chose me as his Type when P’Mame asked him, I felt warm over and I rationalized it by being happy because I was not the only one who felt that connection. Then the workshops started, and he talked to me about how he is a touchy person and seriously told me to inform him if his touches make me uncomfortable. I can tell that he was being guarded, knowing of his past, but as the time went by and we got closer, I saw the walls he built around himself slowly crumble; and what came to a surprise, was that my high walls were crumbling as well, without me noticing.

  
  
  


It was my mother who made me realize. When one night after a gruelling filming, we were on our way home and she suddenly told me how I looked so at ease in P’Mew’s arms, how I would unconsciously run my hands up and down his back whenever we finish a heavy scene and I’ll just go rushing to where he is, knowing he needed comfort; or how I let him grab me by my waist and let me sit on his lap, and I would lean back on his chest, getting comfortable that at times I find myself napping in his embrace. As I heard my mother with a slight tease in her voice, I realized that I have been so accustomed to P’Mew’s touches that it would have been weird if I were to go without it.

  
  
  


What happened after that audition passed by so fast; the success of the series, being flooded by endorsements and mall shows, the love we got from our fans, it was all so overwhelming and I am just so grateful to have this man by my side through it all. If it weren’t for P’Mew’s sturdy hand resting reassuringly on my lower back, I would have stuttered all the time when I was asked to speak to an audience; if it weren’t for his bright persona, I wouldn’t have found it in me to enjoy interacting with the fans. His mere presence was enough to calm me which is why I feel much more at ease at events.

  
  
  
  


I let my eyes linger on P’Mew’s face before I wrap my arm on his waist, burrowing deeper in his chest. I can feel the sleepiness starting to evade my consciousness once again when I felt his arms tightening around me, his cheek resting on my head, and a small smile grazed my lips.

  
  
  


***

  
  


“...tua-aeng.”

  
  
  


I scrunch my nose, feeling someone lightly shake me from my sleep. Turning away from the source, I curled around myself, not wanting to get up yet.

  
  
  


A nudge came to my side and I clicked my tongue annoyingly and an answering chuckle was heard.

  
  
  


”Come on, tua-aeng, it’s already 2pm. You haven’t had breakfast and lunch yet and we have to get ready before P’Boss gets here,” P’Mew said, his voice getting closer. I felt the side of the bed dip from a sudden weight, and arms were suddenly around my torso, gently pulling me to a sitting position, resting my back on his chest. Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw that P’Mew just finished taking a bath and he was wearing a muscle tee and joggers.

  
  
  


A cool palm landed on my cheek and I sleepily leaned towards the touch before my cheek was pinched.

  
  
  


”Get up, you sleepy head,” P’Mew scolded with a smile on his face that made me pout.

  
  
  


”But it’s only 2...I can sleep for another hour before I get ready,” I grumbled.

  
  
  


”You still need to really wake up and have food in this tummy before getting ready, and knowing you, three hours is quite enough to get you up and running.”

  
  
  


I pouted some more, but relented and rubbed my eyes. When P’Mew was sure that I won’t flop down back to the bed, he released me and got up from the bed, getting his phone. “Go freshen up, I’ll reheat the food in the kitchen,” he told me.

  
  
  


”Fine, daddy,” I said, sending a playful glare his way and he just chuckled and went out of the room.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


The Dentisté live ended successfully.

  
  
  


We were asked to take a few more photos and sign some more products before we were released. While we were signing some photos, P’Mew and I were bantering how the beginning of the live was like a repeat of what happened that morning and the staff were trying so hard to not squeal at the information I let slip, so I ducked my head down as I felt my ears getting warm.

  
  
  


P’Mew laughed at my slip and he finished signing the photos first, so he got up and made a beeline towards the corgi at the corner of the room. I looked up for a few seconds, eyes landing on a smile-y P’Mew before I let out a fond chuckle and get back to what I was signing. I was down to my last ten photos, when I felt a presence towering over me. I looked up and smiled as I see P’Mew holding the corgi in his arms, waving its paw towards me.

  
  
  


”P’Gulf is taking too long,” P’Mew said in a childish tone that got a laugh out of me.

  
  
  


”Sorry, I’ll be done soon,” I replied.

  
  
  


”Hurry up, na~ P’Mew is hungry,” he said and sat down on the space on the table beside me, still playing with the dog. 

  
  


After signing the last photo, I looked up once again and saw P’Mew already watching me and we smiled at each other.

  
  
  


”There, all done,” I informed him. Reaching out to pat the dog then patting P’Mew’s head. “What a good boy,” I teased.

  
  
  


“Of course I am,” P’Mew said with mirth in his eyes, he stood up and walked towards thr dog’s owner before walking back to me. “Come on, P’Best said he’d buy me dinner as thanks for not letting you be late today.”

  
  
  


”My manager has no trust in me. I’m never late,” I complained, as I followed P’Mew out the studio.

  
  
  


”You’re never late because he makes sure you’re not,” he teased and poke my belly as we got in the elevator.

  
  
  


”Why aren’t you taking my side? You’re supposed to be on my side, Phi.”

  
  
  


”I am on your side,” he said, “but just not on this one.”

  
  
  


We continued bantering until we reached the parking lot where our managers are waiting and we got in our respective cars and grabbed dinner together.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


It’s been 4 days since our last event together, and P’Mew had been too busy for the past few days. I see his instagram posts and stories, all seem to be related to his photoshoots and at night when I chat him to ask if he wants to play a game or just video call, he would always apologize and say he’s catching up on his studies or needing to sleep early because he has to go to work early the next day. I have been busy myself, with my solo endorsements and photoshoots, but I know Phi has more on his plate than mine does. He is a man who sticks to a time schedule so rigidly in order to get things done no time, and it's another one trait of his that I admire. So even if he refused to play last night, I let it go since I will be seeing him today anyways, for the second reading of the script.

  
  
  


I softly pushed the door of the meeting room open, and my eyes easily found P’Mew who was wearing his red One Piece sweater. He was chatting with First and P’Mild. I made my way towards them and it was P’Mild who noticed me first and waved at me.

  
  
  


Smiling, I gave them a wai as I stopped beside P’Mew.

  
  
  


”Saw your Dentisté live, you guys are so cuuute,” P’Mild teased, earning a laugh from P’Mew.

  
  
  


”If it’s cute, that’s all Tua-aeng’s charm, really,” P’Mew responded, resting an arm around my shoulder.

  
  
  


”Such a sweet talker. Nong First, I have to warn you now, you have to get used feeling like air in the presence of this two,” P’Mild turned to First who just nodded and said, “I can see what you mean, Phi.”

  
  
  


”By the way, Phi, I was going to Siam to see the fan projects, do you want to go with me?” I turned to P’Mew and asked.

  
  
  


”Oh, I was planning to visit those too. What time are you planning to go?”

  
  
  


”I have a magazine interview after this, but I’ll be done around 5pm. How about you, Phi?”

  
  
  


”I’m free after this. I can pick you up from your interview and go there together. Where is it?”

  
  
  


”It’s in Sukhumvit Hotel.”

  
  
  


”That’s close to my condo. I’ll just stay there and study while I wait for you,” he told me with a smile and I nodded.

  
  
  


”See? We are air,” P’Mild whispered loudly to First.

  
  
  


”We’ll start,” P’Mame suddenly called everyone’s attention and we all took our seats.

  
  
  


***

  
  


“That’s a wrap! Thank you, Nong Gulf,” the interviewer shook my hand and I smiled. After thanking the staff and bidding them goodbye, I walked towards P’Best who’s gathering my things.

  
  
  


”It’s still 4pm, I told P’Mew I’ll be done at 5,” I informed him. “Can we just go to his condo and be the one to pick him up?”

  
  
  


”Oh, that’s okay. Try to call and tell him that we’re going,” he replied and I nodded as we headed out the hotel. P’Mew’s not answering his phone and I frowned, he always answers his phone, maybe he’s too busy studying.

  
  
  


We arrived at his condo in 10minutes and P’Best told me to go up alone since he has to talk to someone about my next photoshoot. I reached P’Mew’s door and knocked. I smiled as I heard the locks getting undone but it turned to a confused stare as the door opened and I saw an unknown person who was standing inside.

  
  


“I’m sorry, I must have knocked on the wrong door,” I immediately apologized.

  
  
  


”Oh no, you’re here for Mew, right?” The person asked, and I looked back at him. Then I noticed he’s almost the same height as me, he’s wearing glasses, holding a blanket and wearing a red sweater—

  
  
  


Wait, is that...

  
  
  


”You’re Nong Gulf, am I correct?” He asked with a smile and I slowly nodded, he offered a hand which I took, “I’m Nadech, Mew’s friend.”

  
  
  


Nadech...

  
  
  


So, this is the person P’Mew’s parents were all talking intimately about.

  
  
  


Somehow, I felt a discomfort in my stomach that I can’t explain.

  
  
  


”Come in,” he stepped to the side and let me enter.

  
  
  


I let him lead me inside and once we reached the living room, I can see P’Mew’s sleeping form slumped towards a low table littered with pens and papers. P’Nadech quietly asked me if I wanted anything and let me sit on the dining table. He handed me a water bottle before I watched him go towards P’Mew, draping the blanket he was holding earlier on his sleeping figure. My legs started bouncing at the sight.

  
  
  


”It was so nice to finally meet you, Nong,” P’Nadech returned and sat beside me on the dining table and gave me a kind smile. 

  
  
  


”Oh, nice to meet you too, phi,” I said, not knowing how to reply.

  
  


“Mew told me he was supposed to meet you at 5? You’re quite early.”

  
  
  


”My schedule finished earlier that expected so I thought I’d just go to P’Mew instead, to save him the hassle.”

  
  
  


”I see. Let’s let him take a few more minutes to rest. He’s been reading for the past 3 hours and I only just forced him to take a short break for a nap,” he said with a smile and I cant do anything but nod. This man looked kind and friendly, but despite the cordial smile on his face, I can't seem to stop the nagging thoughts in my head and the slight twitch I feel in my chest. He speaks so fondly of P’Mew that I don’t know how to react to it.

  
  
  
  
  


A few minutes passed by when we were jolted by the sound of an alarm coming from the living room.

  
  
  


”This idiot, I told him I’ll wake him up,” P’Nadech grumbled and stood up to go towards P’Mew. He grabbed the phone on the table and turned off the alarm, but P’Mew was slowly sitting up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

  
  
  


”What time is it?” I heard his deep voice asked, I unconsciously swallowed.

  
  
  


”I told you I’ll wake you, have you got no trust in me?” P’Nadech questioned in return, hands going to his waist as he scolded P’Mew.

  
  
  


”Of course I trust you, I just don't want to oversleep in case you fell asleep yourself,” came the explanation and P’Mew stretched up his arms and turned side to side. “I can’t see. Where’s my glasses?”

  
  
  


”Here,” P’Nadech said, taking off the glasses he was wearing and placing them on P’Mew’s nose.

  
  
  


”You could’ve just worn yours, you know. Why do you keep on—is that my sweater?” P’Mew accused and P’Nadech just laughed. “Can you stop hording my property, you thief!”

  
  
  


”Hey, what’s yours is mine, what’s mine is mine,” the other replied playfully and he turned his eyes on me, “Oh, your visitor came early.”

  
  
  


”What are you—Gulf?! What are you doing here?” P’Mew asked, surprised as he stood up and walked towards me.

  
  
  


”Hi, phi. I finished early so I just came here to get you,” I explained sheepishly.

  
  
  


”So we can go there earlier, then. Let me just freshen up and we’ll leave,” he told me before turning towards the bedroom. “Can you please return my clothes, Phi!” He shouted from the bathroom and another laugh came from P’Nadech as he followed P’Mew inside the room.

  
  
  


I stayed rooted in place, a frown on my face and quite annoyed at everything I witnessed.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Taking a photo at the last place where the fan project was situated, the annoyance I was feeling from earlier subsided. P’Mew has his arm on my waist as we talk to some fans who were tailing us. We were enjoying taking and teasing the fans with our shameless flirting and even I surprised myself from initiating most of our skinships.

  
  
  


I just felt like wanting P’Mew close to me.

  
  
  


As we bid our waanjais good night, P’Mew, P’Best and I headed towards the parking lot. 

  
  


“Do you want to grab dinner, Phi? We can just drop you off to your house since P’Boss is not here,” I suggested, turning to him as he helped me place the gifts from the fans inside the car.

  
  
  
  
  


”It’s alright, Nong. P’Nadech’s fetching me,” he told me with a smile and as if on cue, a honk came and we both looked at the white Mazda parked in front of us. I felt my eye twitch and my smile dropping. “Speaking of the devil,” P’Mew commented. He looked at me and gave me a short hug and let go. “I’m going, Nong. Get home safe,” he said and patted my hair but before he walked away, I unconsciously reached for his hand and held it tightly.

  
  
  


”I—“

  
  
  


_I don’t want you to go._

_  
  
  
_

_I don't want you to go with him._

_  
  
  
_

_I want you to stay with me._

  
  
  


Surprised by the thoughts loudly ringing in my head, I gently let go of P’Mew’s hand and say, “Take care, Phi.”

  
  
  


“You too, tua-aeng.”

  
  
  


Then he walked away and got inside the car. I watched as the white Mazda drive off and only then did I reach up a hand and clenched my chest.

  
  
  


_Why do I feel like this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nadech and Yaya are real actors and a real life couple as well. But in this story I wanted them to be someone of a different background. Although, Luke and Nadech are not related in real life, but I want them to be brothers in this plot.


	6. Mew

“What about this one? I think it would look pretty on her.”

I rolled my eyes for the nth time and replied, “and so are the other five rings you showed me.”

P’Nadech groaned as he gave the ring back to the store employee, “It’s not my fault my girlfriend’s literally the prettiest. I can’t seem to decide on what ring to give her.”

Chuckling at my friend’s dilemma, I patted his shoulder. “The ring is just a symbol, Phi. It’s the representation and the question you’re going to ask her with that matters. Knowing Yaya, you could propose with a hair tie and still yes.”

”You think so?”

”I know so. Now, narrow your choices to three rings, then we’ll see which one would look right for you,” I suggested with a friendly pat then asked the employee to lay down the rings we saw earlier. It took another twenty minutes before Nadech finally decided on what ring to purchase and when he’s satisfied, we finally headed out for dinner.   
  


“I’m craving sushi,” I demanded with a smirk.

”Who says you get to decide?”

”Since you dragged me out here without notice.”

”Hey! I texted you!”

”Texting me that you’re picking me up out of the blue is not an excuse. What if I already made plans?”   
  


“Oooohhh is this because you were planning to dine with your crush?” He teased, a smirk on his lips.

”Shut up, I don’t have a crush,” I retaliated. “That’s so high school.”

”I’m sorry, Mr, PhD. I meant, were you planning to have dinner with your _beloved?_ ”   
  
  


“I’m ordering the most expensive dish here.”

*

“Nong Stu, if I say I wanted to debut as a musician...would it be too much?”

The person in question stopped from his tracks and slowly turned towards me with an unreadable look on his face. He opened his mouth then quickly closed it again.

Worried, I dismissed the notion, “Never mind. Saying this out of the blue would surely put burden on you and the team. Sorry for being selfish.”

”No! P’Mew! This is perfect! I was actually waiting for the right moment to ask you about this,” Nong Stu informed me as he grabbed his laptop and sat beside me on the conference table. “I was contacting some people to prepare for this actually. I know some day you’d venture on a different path other than acting so I wanted to already be knowledgeable of the people we would need,” he said excitedly then proceeded to show me profiles of some people.

”...the only thing we need is a song. I can arrange someone to write one for you then you can help on the melody or some lyrics...”

”Actually, I was writing some songs,” I informed him, feeling a bit shy that I rubbed my nape.

”Wha—Phi! You should tell me these things!” Nong Stu exclaimed, a glint in his eyes as he started typing on his laptop. “Do you have a sample record of it in your phone? I’ll send it to the team I’m creating right away so we—“

”Whoa, slow down, Nong. I was just thinking about it. Do you think this’ll be a good idea with the shooting of season 2?”   
  


“Phi, if this is what you desire, we’ll make it work. You’re literally the CEO of this company and you are paying me to make things happen for you. Just say the word, phi, then we’ll start with the planning as soon as possible,” Nong Stu said with a kind tone. “However, if we do push through with this, I will be the first to tell you that your schedules will be tight. Since you’ve mentioned earlier, this will happen at the same time with the second season of your series, so your free time will most probably be less, or none at all. Think you can handle that?”

Well, that’s basically what I needed anyway; more work so I have less time to dwell on my emotions.

”Yeah. Let’s do it.”

*

The next day was spent with me sitting through meetings regarding the new path I am tackling as an artist. And once again, I am amazed by how meticulous Nong Stu is with this project. In the conference table were producers, music directors, and the lyricist who’d be helping me with the song I have drafted. The schedule for the next few weeks were also discussed and as we all called it a day, P’Boss entered the room with a big smile on his face.

”Mew! We got it!”

Tilting my head to the side, I asked, “Got what?”

“You’re the new brand ambassador of Skechers!”

*  
  
Gulf and I were getting our make-up and hair done when he said something that got me out of my good mood,

”Phi, remember Prem? The friend I introduced to you that one time at the restaurant?”

I responded with a hum, not trusting my voice.

”It’s his birthday tomorrow and I don’t know what to give him. What do you suggest?”

Hearing his friend’s name brought me back to the conversation I overheard that time and if it’s his birthday tomorrow, then that would also be the day that Gulf will be introduced to someone...

”He’s your friend, Nong. Surely, you’ll know what to give,” I responded dismissively then stood up as I finished the makeup and went ahead and changed. My light mood earlier turned sour and it annoys me to no end that I am letting myself het affected this much. I said I won’t act on these feelings, that I’ll be just his friend...

I should really keep myself in check.  
  


The entire Live for Garnier was exhausting; not only because the host is quite annoying but because trying to not show to the annoyance on my face has proven to be quite difficult. As a result, our touches were limited because I don’t really feel like initiating any contact with Gulf, maybe depriving myself of such intimacy is a step to let go of my feelings since everything started with that anyway. I felt, more than saw, Gulf’s confusion from my aloofness but I ignored him and just smiled widely at the camera. At the end, my cheeks were so stiff but I bear with it when we have to take photos for the fans.   
  


Right after meeting with our supporters, I bid everyone a good evening, motioning for P’Boss to follow and went straight home.

*

I am grateful for the days that followed because I was placed on such a tight schedule that it gave me no time to think of whatever looming thoughts are residing in my brain; I was constantly just working and studying and I welcome the distraction with open arms. In the mornings, I have photoshoots and meetings for my single and in the evenings, I have dance lessons and if time permits, I do a bit of my research. My sister had pointed out my tired face more often the past few days but I just tell her that I am happy with the current state Of my work.

But no matter how many days I may be busy, I can never completely be Gulf-free, because now we’ll be starting the shoot of the series. We’re in a condominium, which is Tharn and Type’s home, and we’ll be shooting sweet scenes in a few minutes. As I get my hair done, I read my script and I can feel P’Mame’s eyes as she eyed Gulf who’s at the other side of the room, reading his script.

”Are you two fighting again?” P’Mame asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

”No.”

”Then why are you both not—“

”Phi, we don’t have to be in each other’s space all the time. We’ll be hugging and kissing later anyway,” I said with finality and went back to reading my script.

When it was time to shoot, I stood by the bed where Gulf was sitting and reached for his hand. He looked up, surprised by my gesture and I gave him a small smile, “Ready, Nong?”

”Yes, Phi,” Gulf replied as he stood up then wrapped his arms around me. I let his scent engulf me, arms locking around his waist as I closed my eyes and channeled Tharn...

.

.

.

”Cut!” P’Pique said as we finished almost half of the scene needed. He announced for everyone to grab some lunch as I was getting out of bed and away from Gulf.

”P’Mew...”

”Mew, you have a visitor,” P’Boss said at the same time that Gulf called for me. Giving my co-star a small smile and a nod, I went to where P’Boss was standing by the door.

”Who is—“ but before I finished my question, a body slammed against me and I almost toppled over if I didn’t hold onto the other person’s waist and held tightly. The said person clinging to me was giggling and I felt my eyes bulge as I heard the familiar laughter.

”Luke?! Wha—when did you arrive?!” I exclaimed, placing my hands on his shoulder as I pushed him to get a good look of his face. He’s definitely matured but the boyishness is still there, and I can’t help the smile that showed on my face.

”Last night,” Luke replied. “P’Nadech informed me you have a schedule today so I decided to give you a surprise.”

”How did you even know where I am?”

”Oh, I have P’Boss’s number since he called me before to talk about the contract,” Luke informed me with a big smile before he looked behind me and stood straight. He wai’d to everyone, “Hi, I’m Luke. I apologize for suddenly dropping by.”

P’Pique, the director, just waved his hand dismissively, “It’s okay. It’s Lunch break anyway.”

Considering that as permission, Luke dragged me to where the staff are and whispered that I introduce him to everyone. Seeing his childish excitement that stayed after all these years, I relented and introduced him. P’Mame had take quite a liking to him already when Luke mentioned he read all her novels and started questioning her about some of the characters and if I didn’t drag him away, they would surely waste time discussing instead of eating. When I reached the last person I have yet to introduce to Luke, it startled me to see him already reaching out for a handshake.

”Hi, I’m Gulf. Nice to meet you.”

Luke took the offered hand and gave it a firm shake, “Hi, Gulf. So you’re my rival?” Luke suddenly announced and I felt everyone pause from whatever they are doing to watch the scene happening before me.

”What?”

”No worries, I won’t lose to you,” Luke said charmingly, a teasing tone no his face as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “P’Mew has always been my ideal guy, you know. Everyone can see he’s a catch...but this guy won’t let me pursue him before since I’m underage but now that I’m not...” then he turned to look at me with a smirk, “Just wanna say you better prepare yourself, Phi.”

Remembering the past and the childish confession of Luke a few years back, I laughed at his confidence and ruffled his hair, “Shush you, you’re making me blush,” I joked and everyone laughed at our antics.

”Speaking of lunch, Phi, I made you food,” then I was dragged to the table where look unpacked the food he brought with him.

*

Drying as I get out of the shower, I startled when I hear my phone suddenly ringing. Quickly drying off, I went back inside my room to answer the call before it went to voicemail.

”Have you seen the articles?” Came the serious tone of P’Boss from the other line.

”No, I just finished showering. Why? What happened?”

”Some antis are spreading rumors about you and Gulf. It’s nothing too serious but if we don’t speak about this soon it could blow up.”

Tensing, the grip I had on my phone tightened as I replied, “Send me the articles. Is Gulf aware of this already?”

”I’m not sure. But Ai’Best and Ai’Berm are already aware. I just got off the phone with them.”

”Okay. Let me gauge the articles first and tell P’Best and P’Berm to wait for me. I’ll tell Gulf soon,” I said and after a few more minutes of trying to think of ways to brush this off, we hung up and I quickly changed to my sleepwear before grabbing my laptop. I went down to the kitchen, feeling my body get tense so I made tea hoping it could help me relax for what I’m about to read.

The house is already dark, the only source of light is coming from my laptop and the overhead light I flipped on. As I read the articles P’Boss sent me, I felt annoyance cripple through me, seeing these people spouting nonsense about me and my co-star; how we’re touching too much, how inappropriate it looks...some of these events had happened last year. But what ticked me off the most are the comments attacking Gulf, stating they are my avid fans and they don’t like the younger because he is using me.

Some even went as far as creating fake accounts on IG or twitter to spread hate, and sure their accusations have no basis, but seeing such lies thrown towards the sweetest and pure person I came to love, a surge of protectiveness came over me. Fueled with emotion, I was about to make an elaborate statement on twitter regarding this matter even if I know I should run this down other people involved, if not for the sudden presence who sat beside me.

”Shi—mom!” I startled, hand going to my chest as I felt my heart thudding loudly against my chest at the scare.

”Oh sorry,” my mom said, but her teasing smile tells me she did that on purpose. “What are you doing here with all the lights off?”

”I’m just reading some articles,” I replied and got her a cup of the tea I’m drinking. “It’s just...some people are spreading rumors and I dont...” trailing off, I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

”Okay, let’s calm down, son,” mom told me. “And tell me from the beginning.”

And I did.

I told her about the events we went to, the events they are speculating and how we weren’t even aware it was shown as such. I told her about the people who claim to be my fans but are trying to taint Gulf’s career. I told her about how none of these are true and it frustrates him that his touches could be viewed as too much by people seeing that him and Gulf are just doing it because that’s just how they operate.

”...Gulf is literally the sweetest person and it hurts and angers me that people are spouting hate against him, when all he deserves is to be loved the way I love him and I—“ my eyes bulged when I realized what I just said and I look at my mother who’s smiling at me and a knowing glint in her eyes.

”No, I meant...”

”Don’t even try to take that back, Mew. Don’t invalidate your feelings like that,” she chided and I closed my mouth and looked down.

“You love him. Right?” She asked again, and I can do nothing but give a nod. This is the first time I have voiced out what I was feeling, and even if it was unintentional, it felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off my chest.

”And you’re scared to get hurt. Am I right?” Another nod.

”Mew, I am not going to tell you how different Gulf is with Art because I can already tell that you are well aware of that,” she started as she reached a hand towards mine and coaxed me to look up. “But I am going to tell you that bottling it up inside won’t do you good either. Knowing you, I am quite sure you are overthinking things and you’ll try to separate yourself from him and such.” And when I stayed silent, not meeting her eyes, that is enough as an answer for her and she chuckled. “You know, no matter if you have masters or PhD, you’ll still be my son and I would like to pride myself of knowing you too well.”

”I just...I want to protect myself this time,” I whispered.

”Oh, dear. I understand you want to protect your heart, but you cant truly love without the pain,” she said gently. “Love is not all hearts and rainbows, it could have rainy days and storms too. It’s what makes it more strong, more established. And even if you think its unrequited, remember this, it’s better to have love than to not love at all.”

”So you’re saying I should just get on with it even if I’ll be 100% hurt in the process?”

”There’s no certainty in this, Mew. Matters of the heart should never be quantified as such. If you love him, then let your heart love him the way you see fit; whether it’s to stay or get away...but ask yourself if in this way that you are loving him, is the other person happy or getting hurt in the process? Think about it, okay?” She smiled and stood up, giving me a kiss on the forehead and bidding me goodnight.  
  


*

Arriving at the venue for our live for the Gangnam clinic, I steadied myself as I got out the car and headed towards the building. I arrived quite late, since I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning trying to come up of the right words to say to Gulf. I gave a smile and a wave to the fans waiting at the entrance and was lead by one of the staff to the dressing room. When I went inside, my eyes immediately focused on Gulf who’s already prepared and playing with his phone. Sensing my arrival, he looked up and gave me a smile that I returned before I was ushered towards the seat for my makeup.

Once everything was set and we were briefed about the flow of the live broadcast, we were given almost half an hour of rest before we start. Seeing this as an opportunity, I reached out a hand and gently placed them on Gulf’s. The younger looked up at me with a confused look, but he twisted his wrist to catch my hand and entangle our fingers together.

”Can we talk somewhere?” I whispered, and when he gave a nod I stood up with him, tightening my grip as I lead him to another room where no staff is around.

”Phi, is everything okay?” Gulf asked, worry laced in his voice as we at down on the couch.

”Some articles have released last night and people are speculating how we’re being inappropriate on national television and—“

”I know.”

”What? Did P’Best—“

”No. I found out on my own last night. Fans were tagging me on some and I got curious so I just...” he trailed off, looking down. “We’re just doing what we normally do, though? Why do they have to say something so negative about it?”

”Because we’re getting this much media exposure. We have endorsements left and right, our fan base is growing so we’d be subjected to more scrutiny by vultures who’d want to see us fail,” I answered back. “We’re not doing anything wrong, but I just think we need to laylow the touches for now while the issue is still fresh.”

With this, Gulf looked up with a surprise and something akin to panic in his eyes, “So you won’t touch me anymore?”

Almost choking on my own spit with how that question could easily be interpreted as anything but innocent, I let out a chuckle. “I’m saying we limit the touches.”

”For now?” He clarified.

”For now,” I answered with a smile.

”If you think it’s best,” Gulf relented as he started playing with the ring no my thumb unconsciously. I let him be, letting my eyes get a fill of this man who doesn’t know how much he matters to me. A few minutes passed when Gulf whispered, “Phi, we’re okay, right?”

Confused, I replied, “Yes we are, Tua aeng. Why do you ask?”

”It’s just that—The past few weeks, I felt like you’re pulling away from me? Like, there’s a sudden distance between us even if we’re hugging on set...so I was wondering if I did anything wrong?” He ended with a whisper, head bowing down.

I felt a twinge in my heart as I watched the younger voice out his thoughts, and to think it was my own stupidity that made him think like this. “You did nothing, Gulf.”

”Are you sure? Because if it’s my fault I won’t know if you don’t tell me and I can’t apologize and fix it.”

Heart getting full from all these honesty, I pulled the younger towards me and wrapped my arms around his waist, and he welt willingly, slotting his face at the crook of my neck and his hand placed on my chest, and his other arm around me. “I’m sure. You did nothing wrong, Tua aeng,” I whispered to his ear and I felt him slump more comfortably on me.

”Okay,” he whispered. “I just— I didn’t like feeling distant from you.”

Tightening my hold on him, I answered with a soft tone, “I’m sorry.”

”Hmm,” came the soft voice as he leaned more of his weight on me so I rested my back on the couch and cuddled him tightly. Letting my eyes close, I savored the feeling of having him in my arms like this, with no cameras, no other people looking at us, recording our every move. And with this, my mother’s words from last night echoed in my head. Ask _yourself if in this way that you are loving him, is the other person happy or getting hurt in the process?_

“Tua aeng, I—“

_I love you._

”I’ll protect you,” I whispered.

A chuckle was heard from the younger as he replied, “I never doubted that, Phi.”


	7. Mew

A wide smile was plastered on my face as I gladly accepted gifts from my fans. They’ve been waiting for me patiently to end my dance practice which started quite early this morning and I was grateful for the cups of coffee they sent to the studio for me and the dance team.   
  


“Thank you so much everyone, you all take care of yourselves, okay?” I said with a smile as they followed me towards the car. P’Boss opened the door for me and helped me with the bags.

”Yes, P’Mew! You rest well!” They all replied almost at the ame time that made me chuckle. Waving them a last goodbye as P’Boss closed the door, I took out my phone to check any notifications. My email was bombarded with research materials and after answering some of the emails, I checked my social media accounts and when I got to my IG, I unintentionally let out a loud laugh at what I saw.

”What is it?” P’Boss asked, looking at me through the rearview mirror. I looked back at him for a second, mirth in my eyes, before I quickly returned back to my phone as I was thinking of what to reply back to this adorable person who has no idea how he affects me,

”Gulf commented to my recent IG post and sent me a DM of a silly selfie,” I chuckled, angling my phone to reply back with a selfie of my own.

”It’s nice seeing you and Gulf being playful with each other again, if not more,” P’Boss commented as he turned around the corner.

”What do you mean? We’ve always been playful though?”   
  


  
“Yeah but the past few weeks, it just seemed like you’re a bit—aloof, I guess?” He commented and I raised a brown at him as he parked infront of the company and turned off the engine, then he turned to look at me. “But I’m glad you sorted it out whatever it was.”

*

“You get some rest, okay? This may be the only day that you get to go home quite early and your sched for tomorrow will only start at noon, so you better make the best of it, alright?” Nong Stu said as he handed me my laptop then continued with a glare, “and no more work atleast for tonight, phi. I mean it. I know we agreed that you’ll take part of the editing of your music video but you can give the draft on wednesday so you go home, have dinner, and rest, you hear me?”

”Yes, boss!” I gave him a salute as I zipped my bag and stood up.

”Oh shush you, manchild,” he told me with a laugh before he proceeded to push me out the recording studio and bid me goodbye. I waved goodbye at all the staff I passed by as I headed towards my car. Unlocking the door, I got in then placed my backpack passenger seat and was about to start the engine when my phone rang. Taking it out of my pocket, I checked the caller and my eyes bulged out from surprise as I quickly answered.

”Hello? Mae?”

”Mew? I’m sorry, I’m not interrupting you, am I?” Gulf’s mother asked.

”No no, I just finished my meeting and about to go home. Why’d you call, mae? Is something wrong? Is Gulf okay?” I suddenly rambled, mind coming blank for Gulf’s mom to call me out of the blue so I started worrying.

”Nothing like that, son,” she replied with a laugh. “I just have a favor to ask, if that’s alright with you?”

”Sure, mae. What is it?”

*

I put in my bonnet and a black face mask, then pulled up the hood of my jacket. I also removed my contacts and put on my glasses for extra precaution. Surely, I can get there without getting noticed right? Grabbing my phone, I looked left and right, before I got out of the car and headed towards building. The sun had set a few minutes ago, and Bangkok had started to come into life so I hurried my pace and tried my best to walk pass people without getting attention. Successfully mounting the elevator, I thanked god that it was empty and I pressed the button to the right floor of my destination.   
  


When the ding came, I let out a sigh of relief as I got out, hearing the loud bass coming behind the glass door. The receptionist, Mint, saw me and I waved at her as I pulled down my mask and smiled. “Are they done?”

”P’Mew! This is a surprise,” she replied as we hi-fived. “They’re almost done, by the way. I think they’re about to record the routine they have for today.”

”Oh? And how’s the student so far?”

”He’s steadily improving. It’s quite funny seeing him get frustrated when he forgets a stel but then you feel proud when he succeeds,” Mint said as she lead me to the waiting chairs and sat down with me. “He particularly worked hard with the Candy routine and he kept on using your video as reference when he was learning the steps. He kept on telling how effortless you made it look.”

Hearing that, I looked at her in surprise.

”Just dont tell him I told you, okay? He practically begged everyone here not to tell you about that secret,” she winked then got up to answer a call at the reception. A fond smile broke out of my lips as I felt fluttering on my chest. Not wanting to be seen smiling like some lovesick fool, I pulled up my mask once again and waited.

*

”P’Mew? What are you doing here?”

I looked up from my phone as I see Gulf getting out of the studio, a towel on his hand as he wiped away the sweat. He immediately took a seat beside me and I opened the water bottle Mint gave me earlier and handed it to him.

”Thanks, Phi. But you didn’t answer my question,” he said before taking a drink.

”Your mom called me to pick you up since your dad forgot about his hospital appointment today,” I explained as I took the towel on his neck and resumed wiping his face. “I’ll drop you off to your condo so go get changed. You might get sick if you stay in your wet shirt.”

”Okay, Phi. But can we grab dinner first though? I’m hungry,” Gulf whined as he leaned his body on my side.

”Heeeey, you’re sweaty,” I complained but didn’t have the heart to push him off.

He laughed at me then stood up, “I’ll get changed quickly. We can have dinner in my condo, mom left food in the fridge that we can re-heat.”

”For a moment I thought you’re gonna offer to cook, but since it’s your mom’s cooking then okay,” I teased.

Gulf childishly stuck his tongue out at me as he headed to the locker room of the dance studio to get changed. Pleng caught up to me and we made friendly chit chat as I waited for Gulf. It took him just 5 minutes to get changed so we bid everyone goodbye and got in the elevator. Remembering my struggle earlier, I removed my bonnet and placed it on Gulf’s head, lowering it a bit to slightly hide his face, he looked up at me and understood what I was doing so he pulled up his hoodie and he reached up behind me to pull up mine. Smiling at each other, I wore my mask properly and qw hurriedly got out when the elevator doors opened and made a beeline to my car.

When we are safely inside the confines of my vehicle, we caught each other’s eye and burst out laughing.

”We—we look like robbers, Phi,” Gulf wheezed, clutching at his stomach.

”We should really appreciate our managers more,” I laughed with him, “imagine us always exiting each event like that. In no time we’ll be ninjas.”

”Nooo, stop,” he giggled some more, “You just made me—hahaha, I just—imagined us running away naruto style—whoo, my stomach hurts,” he chortled and it took us a few more minutes before we finally calmed down from our sudden laughing fit. I playfully poked his nose as I reached over to secure his seat belt before I did mine and we drove off.

  
  


The drive was spent with us telling each other about our day, me with my dance schedule in the mornings and meetings in the afternoon, and him with his photoshoot earlier. He was telling me the concept of the shoot and was explaining one of the outifit he liked best and I told him the progress of my music video.   
  


“You’re doing editing? Want me to help?”

”Oh right, you’re good with that stuff,” I said as I parked infront of his condo. “Maybe you can teach me how to use the software? I’m quite new with this.”

”Then why’d you even offer to edit then?” He asked, grabbing his bag and handing me mine as we got out the car and walked towards the building.   
  


“I just wanted to lessen the burden of the team even for a bit. And also, I’d like to know every process of this. This is my first single and it—this song means a lot to me,” I admitted not meeting his eyes as I felt him turn towards me. We rode the elevator in silence and when we got in his unit, he immediately prepared our dinner.

”Turn on your laptop as I heat the food, Phi. We can eat and work on your video in the living room,” he instructed and I followed. Getting my laptop from my bag, I switched it on and placed it on the low table before I followed Gulf in the kitchen to help him prepare. I got us plates and cutleries then walked back to the living room to place it there beside my laptop then Gulf came in with the heated food. Passing me the plate, he sat down beside me and pulled the laptop to face him.

”This is the software we used during my internship. It’s quite easy to grasp, Phi. Do you have any specifications in the video you wanted fixed?” Gulf asked, taking a bite of his food then pulling the laptop towards him. I ate silently, watching Gulf move around the cursor as he tried to instruct me what the control buttons are for. But in all honesty, nothing registers but the soft tone of his voice and that focused look in his eyes. Finishing my meal, I got up and took his finished plate before depositing them in the sink. I rolled up my sleeves and proceeded to wash the dishes as Gulf’s voice echoed through the walls of his condo.   
  


“Phi, are you listening?” Gulf asked, and I looked up from the glass I was rinsing to give him a smile and a nod.

”Yeah.”

”Liar,” he grumbled and gave a cute pout. “Come here so you can see what I’m doing and tell me how the editing is done.”

”I have the notes for the editing in my notebook. It’s in my bag,” I said, finishing up with my task and drying my hands. Making my way back to the couch, I flopped down and lied facing facing down, resting my head on my arm as I look at the screen of my laptop. “Yeah, and I was thinking in the part maybe the transition could be more—how do you say this...flawless? Like there’ll be a sudden bright light then the next scene would be shown...” I said.   
  


This went on for awhile, me pointing out what I thought would look good for the video and Gulf navigating the laptop and trying to throw in his suggestions. I felt my eyelids growing heavy. Letting out a yawn, I tried to focus on the screen as Gulf was telling me about the color scheme of the autumn scene but it kind of blurred in my ears as I let his voice lull me to sleep.

*

It was the tapping of computer keys that got me slowly opening my eyes. Everything was kind of blurry before I realized that my glasses are gone and I am now lying on my side, curled beside someone. Gazing down, I saw a blue blanket covering me before I casted my eyes up to see Gulf’s focused face. Feeling my eyes on him, he looked down at me and a soft smile grazed his lips.

”Go rest some more, phi,” he whispered, reaching out a hand to play with my hair.

Feeling myself sink deeper into the couch, I closed my eyes once again.

*

  
The second time I woke up, it was due to something tickling my nose. Scrunching my face, I tried moving away from the source but then I felt arms tightening around me that I quickly opened my eyes.  
  


It was already morning. Judging by the light coming through the window, I could say maybe it’s around 6 in the morning and someone was wrapped around my arms. Smiling, I let my eyes bask in the sight right before me. Gulf was breathing heavily, his cheek pressed on my chest and his arm around my waist. His head was lying on my arm and I could feel the effect from lack of circulation so I gently maneuvered his head to rest on the pillow I was using instead.

”Phi—,” Gulf grumbled, eyebrows scrunching together but eyes remaining shut. “Stop moving,” he added then rubbed his cheek on my chest for a few seconds before he settled down.   
  


“Sorry,” I whispered with a smile and I resumed watching him in his slumber.

*

It took me almost half an hour to finally release myself from Gulf’s arms without awakening the younger. After washing my face in the bathroom, I went to the kitchen to look what could be cooked for breakfast. Grabbing my glasses that was resting right beside my laptop, I grabbed my phone and played soft music as I cook. Time seemed to fly as I immersed myself from the task at hand and when I glanced at the sleeping man on the couch, it was to see him slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

”Finally awake?” I teased, and Gulf looked up at me with a pout and not gracing me with an answer.

”Too early?” I asked instead and he nodded, before he flopped back down on the couch. Chuckling at his grumpy mood, I resumed to focus on cooking. After plating the omelette and scooping us rice, I placed the food on the dining table and proceeded to wake the other who was curled around a pillow.

Kneeling on the ground, I observed his face as I poked his nose, “Come on, Tua aeng. Eat breakfast with me.”

When he made no signs of moving, I started poking his nose repeatedly with a smirk. A few seconds and he’s swatting my hand away with a complain but I did not stop until he reluctantly sat up with a glare in my direction. I just gave him a big smile as I hoisted him up his feet and pushed him to the dining table. When we’re both sitting down, I started eating and I watch my companion still grumbling but picking up his spoon, nonetheless.

”What time did you sleep?” I asked.

”Uhh—1 or 2? Not sure. I enjoyed doing your videos that I didn’t notice the time,” he replied.

”What? You stayed up to finish the video?”

”Yeah. I checked the notes you did and added a bit more. You can check it later then tell me if you want more changes,” he replied with nonchalance, sipping his tea.

Shaking my head fondly, I reached towards him to place my hand on his. “You didn’t have to do that, Tua aeng. You should’ve just rested.”

I watched as Gulf eyed our hands as he replied, “You needed the rest more than I do, Phi. And besides, you said it’s important to you—“. He looked up and locked his gaze on me, as he shifted his hand and interlocked our fingers before giving it a gentle squeeze.

”—so it’s important for me too.”


	8. Mew

I exited the bathroom, one hand holding my phone as I tried to dry my hair with the other. Gulf was on the other line, munching on a burger as we talk about the scenes that we are going to shoot for tomorrow. The clock on my bedside table is showing that it’s close to midnight and Gulf and I just got home from our schedule for OPPO and we should probably head to bed soon.

  
  
  


”Phi, do you think P’Mame can change something in the script?” Gulf said as I placed my device on a phone holder and focused it on me. Grabbing my script, I opened it to the bookmarked page before I replied, “Which one?”

  
  
  


”This part...ummm page 213.”

  
  
  


Flipping to the right page, I read the lines for a few seconds. “What’s wrong with it?”

  
  
  


”I just—it doesn’t feel right,” he started. He scrunched his forehead, trying to think of a way to convey what he feels to the right words so I waited patiently. “I know Type, and in the last 7 years of their relationship they both grew together but individually as well. He’s learned to be more of himself, and maybe a bit softer to the people around him on his own way so...I don’t know...it just feels like these lines in this particular scene—it’s like he’s reverting back to the old him and it doesn’t feel right.”

  
  
  


A fond smile made its way to my lips as I listened to him talk so intimately about his character. He looked up and saw my expression and squinted his eyes, “What? What’s that smile for?”

  
  
  


”I’m just proud that you connect so well with your character,” I told him, still with a smile and Gulf had the audacity to look adorable as he looked down, acting shy all of a sudden.

  
  
  


”Type is important to me. It’s because of this character that I got to experience a lot of things,” he said softly.

  
  
  


”And Tharn is important to me as well,” I started and I wanted too much to pull him into my arms. “But it’s not just because of Type, Tua Aeng. You brought him to life. Type is Type because of the expressions you make, the words you speak and the actions you do. You connected with the audience as Type because of your talent as Gulf. Remember that, okay?”

  
  
  


Gulf was quiet for a bit, but his shy expression turned soft as he looked back at his phone and gave me a smile; that small quirk of his lips that only shows itself in rare moments such as these. He rarely smiles this way, always used to the big happy smiles reserved for the camera but in those counted moments that he does, I feel so honored to be a witness of it. “Okay, thank you, phi.”

  
  
  


”I’m just telling the truth, no need to thank me. And for sure P’Mame will agree when you tell her about this tomorrow.”

  
  
  


Knock. Knock.

  
  
  


Getting up from the bed, I answered the door and was greeted by Luke.

  
  
  


”Phi, I just wanted to say goodnight,” he smiled and I smiled back.

  
  
  


”Did you have fun with Jom?” I asked because he and my sister had spent almost an entire day turning the house into a buffet place with all the recipes they’ve been sharing back and forth. It was a good thing I came back late and was spared from tasting each dish they cooked and baked, but my parents and our househelps weren’t as lucky and I laughed at my mother who’s complaining that they’ll have stomach aches the next day from the variety of food they’ve been consuming.

  
  
  


”Of course, phi! Your sister’s so talented in the kitchen, too bad you didn’t get that one,” Luke teased. “And we saved you some food in the fridge so you have to eat them tomorrow, don’t think you’re spared from giving us your honest opinion on the dishes.”

  
  
  


I chuckled and ruffled his hair, “Okay. I’ll even take some to the set and ask everyone for their opinion. Go to bed.” And before he walked away, he wrapped his arms around my waist so I hugged him back and whispered goodnight. Going back into my room, I flopped down on my bed lying face down, resting my chin on my hand as I went back to reading the script.

  
  
  


”How many scenes are we doing tomorrow?” I asked.

  
  
  


When no answer came, I looked up at my phone to see Gulf’s image frozen. “Gulf? You there? Are you having a bad reception?”

  
  
  


The other blinked, looking down and bit his lip. Seeing that his connection was stable again, I returned my gaze to the script. “So, um—was that Luke? He’s sleeping over?” Gulf asked.

  
  
  


”Yeah. Him and Jom had some sort of cooking competition in the house, at least that’s what mama told me when I got home,” I chuckled. “Oh, I’ll be bringing some of the food they did. I think you’ll like it. Luke’s quite a chef.”

  
  
  


”Okay...uh—Phi, I feel sleepy. Let’s call it a night,” the other replied and I looked up to see him closing his script and walking towards his bed.

  
  
  


”Alright, see you tomorrow. Good night, nong.”

  
  
  


***

  
  


The next day, P’Boss fetched me at 7 in the morning to go to the filming site of Tharntype. We’re almost halfway done with the script and if things go as scheduled, we’ll be done at the end of august. Thinking of the inevitable end of the filming process, I can’t help but feel a bit lonely. I wasn’t as free as I was during the first season so I haven’t really bonded with the new casts and I’m quite jealous whenever Gulf tells me of their goofiness during the break time, but I don’t let it get to me. The new casts and Gulf are almost at the same age so I’m actually more relieved that Gulf is surrounded by people his age. 

  
  


And also, it’s not like I’m lazing around. I’m just using most of his time towards his other dream.

  
  
  


Arriving at the set, I grabbed the paper bags of food with the help of hmy manager and went up to the room for make-up. I announced to the staff and the other actors that I brought food and that they’re free to get whatever they like that got me an excited yelp since most of them haven’t eaten their breakfast yet. Then P’Jane grabbed me to sit down for my hair and makeup.

  
  
  


”P’Mew,” Gulf came and sat beside me. “I talked to P’Mame.”

  
  
  


”How’d it go?” I spoke, looking up as P’Jane dabbed foundation under my eyes. A hand found it’s way on top of mine and I maneuvered my wrist to intertwine my fingers with Gulf’s.

  
  
  


”P’Mame agreed with me,” he started. “I told her what I told you last night and we just finished editing the script.”

  
  
  


”Told you,” I replied, giving his hand a squeeze which he returned. “Have you eaten breakfast yet? I brought food Luke and Jom made.”

  
  
  


”Tharn’s shirt is not yet ironed. Where is it?” P’Kik announced as he went towards the corner of the room where all the costumes were hanged.

  
  
  


”I’ll help P’Kik,” Gulf suddenly stood up and went towards our costume head. 

  
  
  
  


When I was done with my hair and makeup, I sat on the couch as I waited for my shirt in which Gulf had made it his mission to iron the creases. Some staff members are recording him as he ironed the shirt, no doubt posting it on the Tharntype official twitter so I just waited patiently and read my script.

  
  
  


A few minutes later, a shadow towered over me and I look up to see Gulf pouting.

  
  
  


”Where’s my shirt?”

  
  
  


”P’Kik pushed me away from the costume area. He said I’m not doing it right,” he grumbled and I wrapped an arm around his waist to appease him. “You just lack practice. If you do it more often, you’ll be the perfect wife in no time,” I teased.

  
  
  
  


He snorted before he sat down on my lap, “You bet I will.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“Phi, I’m sorry. I won’t make it in time,” Gulf’s apologetic voice came through my phone as I answered his call.

  
  
  


The room was bustling with staff walking here and there, trying to look for anything to fix as the time draws near to 3pm. Outside the room, I can hear the technical staff double checking the sound system and the fans occasional screams which indicate that someone known must have arrived. But the one that truly matters most is saying he’ll be late.

  
  
  


”Why?” I tried, really tried to keep my tone neutral but the disappointment must have leaked through my voice because Gulf was quick to apologize again and explained that he’s caught in traffic due to the pipes getting fixed on the road or something.

  
  
  


”Phi, I’m sorry.”

  
  
  


Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and rested back on my chair as I answered, “Yeah it’s fine...just—“

  
  
  


”Nervous, phi?”

  
  
  


I replied with a chuckle, “Terrified.”

  
  
  


There was rustling at the other end of the line before Gulf’s voice sounded, “Your fans are going to love it, Phi.” And he said it with so much conviction that I wish I had at this moment.

  
  
  


”How do you know?” I whispered, not caring how vulnerable I sound at the moment. It’s nerve-wracking. I know I did the best I could, the team had shed blood and tears to make sure everything is perfect but still, I can’t stop my head from thinking of what ifs.

  
  
  
  
  


“Because I loved it, and I’m your number one fan.”

  
  
  


It’s amazing how such simple words could just change a person’s entire mood. But really, it’s not much of the words spoken but more of who said so. And right now, hearing those words from Gulf had like a magic effect on my nerves that I felt like floating. A smile had made its way on my lips and I caught it through the vanity mirror right in front of me. _Oh, Gulf. Look at what you do to me,_ I thought as I chuckled. The door to my dressing room opened and I was called by my manager saying that we’ll start in 2 minutes.

  
  
  


”Thank you, Tua aeng. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

  
  
  


”Yeah, I’ll watch you through the live stream. Go be your charming self.”

  
  


***

  
  
  


After the press conference, I was ushered back to my dressing room for my last outfit change. The guests were all taking a break at the buffet room and I was given almost half an hour to sit down and rest. Planning to maybe catch a quick nap, I opened the door to my dressing room and all thoughts of napping flew out the window.

  
  
  


There, at the center of the room was Gulf. Holding the bouquet of flowers he had earlier when we took a photo on stage, and on his other hand was a cupcake with a candle. He was smiling softly towards me and the people who were following me from behind had excused themselves when they peeked inside, wondering why I paused by the door.

  
  
  


”We’ll be back in 20 minutes to do your hair,” P’Jane whispered to my ear then she walked away and that was enough to wake me up from the slight haze I got caught into. I got inside the room and closed the door. Gulf remained standing there, an expectant and dazzling smile on his lips as I walked towards him.

  
  
  


”Congratulations, Khun Phi,” he spoke when I reached him. He nudged the cupcake towards me and I chuckled, before I blew out the candle. “I’m so proud of you,” he added and that was enough to make my arms find its way around his waist, pulling him close and never wanting to let go.

  
  
  


A squeak was heard from him as he raised his hand to avoid dropping the cupcake and the roses were slight squished between us but it didn’t matter. I wanted—needed to have him in my arms. “I thought you said you need to leave,” I spoke softly right at his ear.

  
  
  


”I will in a bit. I just wanted to give this to you first,” he replied then coaxed me to release him so he can put the bouquet down and then told me to eat the cupcake.

  
  
  


”Come on, phi. You need the sugar,” he said when I refused. Eventually, I relented and took a bite, looking up in surprise when I tasted strawberry and chocolate filling. “How—is it good?”

  
  
  


Munching at my cupcake, I looked at Gulf and wondered why he was blushing and looked shy all of a sudden.

  
  
  


”It’s yummy, Tua aeng,” I told him before I offered him the last bite with a smile. Grabbing a napkin from the table, I wiped my lips and proceeded to wipe his then realized my mistake. I laughed as I see Gulf’s lips painted with the lipstick I was wearing earlier and I told him as such and he joined in the laughter. When we calmed down, he dragged me towards the couch at the corner of the room and sat us down, grabbing my arms and putting them around him. I looked at him with a fond smile, and a questioning gaze.

  
  
  


”I just feel like you needed a hug,” he answered my unspoked question.

  
  
  


”Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around then?”

  
  
  


”Yeah but, you like to be the one doing the hugging than being hugged.”

  
  
  


I tightened my arms around him as he rested his head on my shoulder, his arm lying on my stomach. “You’re right about that.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


It was late at night when I finally returned home, heart full from all the love and support my fans and the people close to me showered me with. I bid P’Boss and Nong Stu goodnight as I exited the van with the bouquet in my arms. Entering the house, I went straight to the kitchen to try to look for a vase.

  
  
  


My sister entered the kitchen as I finally found a vase and started unwrapping the bouquet.

  
  
  


”Congrats again, Phi,” she said, giving me a tight hug before she went to the fridge to get a glass of water.

  
  
  


”Thank you, nong. Oh, and the guests were complimenting your pastries, by the way,” I informed her.

  
  
  


”Did you like it?”

  
  
  


Gaze focused on relocating the roses in the vase, I replied, “I wasn’t able to eat the one you baked in the event, sorry. But I do know their yummy already.”

  
  
  


”No, I mean,” she said as she passed me a rose and proceeded to help me. “Did you like the cupcake?”

  
  
  


Lifting my eyes towards her, I see a knowing smile on her face. “What?”

  
  
  


She let out a giggle, passing me another rose. “Gulf asked me for help to make you a cupcake last night.”

  
  
  


Hearing that, I stared at her with a surprise and she giggled again, patting my shoulder. “So, did you like it?” She asked again.

  
  
  


I gave her a smile, before returning my gaze to the roses we’re assembling, reaching out to caress a petal as I relied, “I loved it.”


	9. Gulf

A frown was etched on my face as I saw the scene unfold in front of me. 

  
  


We are at a hospital in Bangkok where we’re shooting the scenes of Type’s workplace. And all was going smoothly; I wasn’t even that moody when we had to be here at 6:30 in the morning because we only have until 9pm to shoot everything. I arrived before P’Mew and when he showed up, I immediately went to run our lines together and we were all joking around and there were the usual teasing that the crew and our co-stars do whenever Phi and I get lost in our own world or when I just voluntarily flop down on his lap without him pulling me despite the available space beside him at the hospital chairs, really they should be used to it by now, we’ve been like this for almost two years now but the teasing never stopped anyways. Sometimes I think they’re doing it just to see me blush and I do admit that in the first few months that we were shooting the first season, my cheeks would burn up and my ears would redden from their teasing but then I got accustomed to it, and now, most of the time I even add fuel to the fire just for the fun of it. But it was always when P’Mew decided to join in the teasing that my shyness would resurface and I’d look down and bite my lip just because. Sigh. 

  
  


Anyway.

  
  
  


As I was saying, the filming was halfway done when P’Mew suddenly bid the crew goodbye. I was surprised because I didn’t know that he’ll only be here for half a day but when I read the next scenes we’ll be filming, I noted that he didn’t have lines anymore. He came by to give me a hug and encouragement before he got his bag and went towards the car parked right outside the hospital’s entrance. I was watching him when the driver seat opened and Luke came out of the car to help Phi with his bag.

  
  
  


”Stare some more, will you. Maybe then P’Mew will notice and decide not to leave,” someone whispered behind my back and I jumped back to see P’Mild smirking at me.

  
  
  


”I—I wasn’t...”

  
  
  


”Oh come on, Gulf. Do you really expect me to believe that?” He said, his smile turning gentle as he placed a hand on my shoulder. “If you needed to talk, just know that I’m here, okay?” Then he left and walked towards the director to have a quick chat before we started filming again.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


I was focusing on doing the task given to us, which is putting makeup on the paper that we just kissed to add some expression on it, when I heard P’Mew’s small giggle. Curious, I turned my gaze towards him and saw his amusement with the magnetic make-up brushes. 

  
  


So Cute.

  
  


A fond smile grazed my lips and I forced myself to look away. It was adorable when P’Mew gets like this. Most of the time he acts like the adult that he is, with a serious and diligent aura surrounding him naturally, all his actions calculated and words well-thought off whenever we have interviews. This is the reason why I was quite intimidated at first; he exudes that energy of perfection that it kind of scares me to make mistakes as his partner. But then he reached out to me, he had been unexpectedly patient and in no time, I got comfortable with having him around me.

  
  
  


So now, seeing P’Mew playing and being amused with the brushes, it flutters something in my chest that I can’t understand.

  
  
  


The live continued with us still fumbling with the script. Really, do they really expect us to perfectly spout out all these words when we were given such specific words to speak? Most of our lives are spontaneous. We were just asked to read prompters when we have to advertise a product but it was never like this, never too specific that even our interactions needed to be written in words. I hid my displeasure with a smile as I read silently the next lines on the script saying, “turn to Mew and comment about his complexion then advertise bla bla bla...”

  
  
  


“I’m sorry we’re committing too much mistakes. We’re not used to having scripts,” P’Mew suddenly commented with a laugh and the people around us chuckled lightheartedly. And it was amazing how such an off-handed comment could just make the entire live much more laid back and fun as Phi and I laughed at each other when we stutter at the hard words in our scripts. Even the staff weren’t offended by the honesty that Phi just spouted out and they all felt less tense.

  
  
  


P’Mew is really amazing.

  
  
  


When the live ended, P’Mew was almost by the door to leave when I reached for him and ask for a few minutes. He smiled and told P’Boss to wait for him by the stair and dragged me by the balcony of the second floor.

  
  
  


”What is it, tua aeng? Something bothering you?” He spoke softly, reaching out to wrap an arm around my waist.

  
  
  


”Phi, I was offered to be part of a big project,” I started, placing a hand on his shoulder.

  
  
  


”Oh? Is it a new series?”

  
  
  


”It's...it’s sort of like a boyband?”

  
  
  


I watched as his eyes widened, surprise clear on his face. “A boyband?”

  
  
  


”Yeah. Just...I thought what you said about venturing to other fields to widen my experience and I just—“

  
  
  


The sentence died on my throat when Phi pulled me closer and now wrapping both arms around me. I immediately melted to his embrace, something that always happens and something that I naturally succumb to as I rested a cheek on his shoulder.

  
  
  


”That’s amazing, tua aeng,” he whispered and I felt his breath on my ear causing a light shiver down my spine.

  
  
  


”Nothing’s amazing yet, phi,” I replied back just as softly. “I’m still not that confident with my talent in singing.”

  
  
  


”Of course it’s amazing. You’re amazing,” he emphasized. “The fact that you are considering it, going out of your comfort zone like that...I can’t tell you how proud I am.”

  
  
  


And really, that was all it took for me to come into a decision.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


The contract signing for the project flashed by in a blink of an eye and my days are now packed with vocal and dance lessons aside from my filming schedule. It was exciting as it was exhausting, but then I see my fans sending me encouragement and it makes me push myself harder. Aside from that, P’Mew never failed to send me line messages to cheer me up on the nights of rehearsals when I rant to him about being sleepy or hungry.

  
  
  


There was one time in my vocal coach’s studio when P’Bermb came in with a box of pizza and he gave me a separate food container. When I opened it, my eyes twinkled as I saw my favorite food in the container, still warm and smelling so good that my mouth started to water.

  
  
  


”P’Mew sent these,” P’Bermb announced and I looked up in surprise. “Nong Stu just dropped these off before he picked up Mew at the venue where he’s having a live event right now. And here,” he passed me a white tumbler. “Mew said that that’ll be good for your throat.”

  
  


“May I?” My vocal coach asked. I gave her the tumbler and watched as she opened it and took a whiff. “Ginger tea. Khun Mew knows his stuff,” she commented, impressed as she gave it back to me.

  
  
  


”Well, he is an artist,” P’Bermb said as he took a slice of pizza.

  
  
  


I felt a light shove on my side and I looked at my vocal coach who has a soft smile on her, “He takes such good care of you, doesn’t he?”

  
  
  


Again, my heart was fluttering in my chest as I looked down at the packaged phi sent me. “Yeah, he does.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


It was one of those rare nights when I don’t just collapse myself to bed as soon as I get back in my condo. I had a photoshoot for the boyfriend project then filming for Tharntype right after, and everything wrapped up at around 9 in the evening. P’Best dropped me off at the condo, reminding me that we have to be early for tomorrow’s schedule.

  
  
  


And now, I’m freshly out of the shower and lying down on my bed. I typed in the site where P’Mew had his live which finished a few hours ago and watched. I let Phi’s laughter and words echo in my quiet room and I felt myself feeling a bit sleepy, the familiar deep timbre of his voice gently lulling me to sleep but I forced my eyes open.

  
  
  


I haven’t seen P’Mew for almost three days. Despite the video calls and constant line messages when we have spare time, it was still different when he’s actually somewhere I can see and reach out to. This constant need to just be within phi’s vicinity or just to listen to his ramblings about his thesis, about his job or about chopper is something I never thought I’d miss. As they say, I am quite a simple minded person, and trivial things such as longingness have never been on my mind. But then again, never before have I felt such strong attachment to another who is not blood-related to me. It’s quite unsettling.

  
  
  
  


Not wanting to delve into more of where my thoughts are bringing me, I tried to focus back on the small screen of my phone. Only then did I clearly see how the two female MCs were interacting with P’Mew. Spouting such flirty remarks. And what irked me more is how P’Mew was casually flirting back, even if he’s more flirting with the camera than on the women trying to get his attention. The grip I had on my phone tightened, the sleepiness I felt was replaced by this sudden annoyance that I huffed, exiting the video and checked twitter and instagram instead.

  
  
  


Why do I feel like this? And I can’t even deny that this is the first time that I have this sudden bouts of—possessiveness towards P’Mew. Somehow it bothered me to see more and more people getting enamored by phi. Before, during the first season, there was just me and the staff and his loyal fans who have free access to his charms. But nowadays with our work getting more media attention, gathering more fans and accepting projects left and right, I watch how phi just effortlessly catch everyone’s eyes whenever he enters a room. I mean, I don’t blame them. Because even if we are getting famous together, there is just something about the way P’Mew’s presence just unconsciously demands everyone’s focus on him. That is exactly why I have thought of Phi as a deity.

I mean, I am glad that P’Mew have more people who are supporting his works and are encouraging him in his activities. But then there are those who wanted more than just support Phi. With their lusty eyes and subtle touches that are obviously insinuating more. Ugh.

  
  


Sighing, I lied on my back and brought up my phone, holding it up and away from my face. I scrolled through my instagram, getting updated with the football teams I am following, liking some photos of friends and I felt myself calming down in a few minutes. I dragged down the screen, refreshing the app and when it reloaded, my eyes bulged and I yelped in pain as I dropped my phone right to my face.

  
  
  


”Ow,” I hissed, touching the tender portion of my forehead before I grabbed my phone that was on my chest. Slowly, I peered at my screen and I stopped breathing.

  
  
  


There on my phone is P’Mew’s newly uploaded photo. A photo of him shirtless.

  
  
  


For a moment I forgot to breathe, and I stared unblinkingly as the likes on the photo increased in every second passed. When I got over the shock and I felt normal enough to function, I pressed the heart icon and commented “Wow”. Because, well—

  
  
  


Wow.

  
  
  


I curled to my side, partly to save myself from hitting my face again as I brought my phone closer, trying to memorize each contours on P’Mew’s body. It’s enticing to look at. Phi doesn’t have that too defined muscles like some buff guys have, but it’s enough to outline the muscles under his skin. And it’s—it’s sexy. I bit my lower lip. Before I knew it, I screenshotted the photo and locked my phone, dropping it beside me and clutched the pillow close and willed myself to sleep.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


_If one day, Gulf won’t be beside me then I’d feel empty. We have grown together. During the first season, I didn’t feel much because we knew we’d still work together for the second season but after this second season, after the filming and the promotional events are done, then it will really be our finale. After Tharntype, we’ll be Mew and Gulf, and we’ll eventually work on different projects. So yeah, I’ll feel empty._

  
  
  


I looked out the car window, watching the lights flash by as my mother drove me back home. My mind is restless. P’Mew’s words echoing in my ears when I watched his interview earlier. There’s this twinge in my chest that’s been growing uncomfortable each passing day. But unlike the other times that I can just ignore it, tonight it felt heavier—almost unbearable that I can’t seem to describe it.

  
  
  


What P’Mew said in that interview was true. How we’d have to go our separate ways. How we have to be distinguished as Mew and as Gulf after everything and yet, despite the inevitability of it, the pain that comes with it was such a suckerpunch to the gut.

  
  
  


”Gulf? Are you okay?” Mae asked from the driver seat, placing a hand on my legs that I didn’t notice was bouncing.

  
  
  


Steadying my legs, I let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, just—“

  
  
  


I paused. Not knowing how to open up this confusing feelings I am having. But I looked at my mother and saw her just watching the road, a patient expression on her face as she waited for me to collect my thoughts. And I felt grateful.

  
  
  


”Mae,” I started and she hummed, an indication that she’s listening as she continued to drive. “I’m confused.”

  
  
  


”About what?”

  
  
  


”About me. What I’m feeling.”

  
  
  


”What are you confused about?”

  
  
  


”I don’t know what this is I am feeling for P’Mew.”

  
  
  


And as the words left my lips, I felt my eyes water and I closed them shut, angling my face away in hopes that she won’t notice how my voice broke. I tried to keep my breathing steady, waiting for my mother’s reaction. She squeezed my hand.

  
  
  


”I just want to say that whoever you choose to have feelings for, your dad and I will accept,” she started gently, speaking in that calming tone of hers. And hearing her say that, an unknown heavy weight just lifted off my chest. I didn’t even know I needed to hear that. “And these feelings you have for Mew, maybe you just realized it now but you are my son. And I would like to believe that I know you better than anyone to say that you’re not exactly subtle.”

  
  
  


My head quickly turned to her, surprise on my face. “Wha—“

  
  
  


”Your eyes light up when he’s around. You never run out of things to talk about with him, no matter how big or small. You never shut up about him in every family reunion, and even showed your grandmother video clips or photos of him you took without him knowing. You turn to him when you are unsure of something. You sulk like a child when you have your fights and you learned to even be tactful because he is much more sensitive than you,” my mother started listing and I felt myself blush. Why is she saying this?

  
  
  


”But most of all, you trust him with all that you have,” she continued, stopping the car right outside the house. Mae then turned to look at me, a gentle yet knowing smile on her face. “You may be confused about it now but I know you’ll get there. You’ve acknowledged something I know that’s been bothering you for awhile and that’s a step. Think things through. Think deeply and reflect about it. Mew may look like someone who doesn’t hide anything but I can tell how he is guarded when it comes things that matter the most. You know what he’s been through. So I want you to be certain before you decide on what to do with your feelings.”

  
  
  


I looked back at her, her eyes full of love and understanding before I gave a small nod.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


My heart is pounding.

  
  
  


If anyone told me that one day I’ll be in a virtual concert, and no, not just being a guest or whatever, but actually participating with the singing then I would have laughed at their faces with how ludicrous that idea is. I am not a talented singer nor a good rapper, and yet here I am. Standing beside P’Mew and his idol, P’Stamp.

  
  
  


I felt my hands get clammy, watching from the side as P’Mew took his guitar and started jamming with P’Stamp. And yet, despite the nervousness, seeing that look of complete bliss on Phi’s face as he fulfilled another one of his dreams settled my nerves. A smile was on my face as I watched him happily strumming his guitar, elated as he sang his favorite song with the artist he looks up to.

  
  
  


_God the things I do for you_ , I told myself and got surprised by my own thoughts. Because it’s true. Ever since I’ve been with P’Mew I dared to experience things I never would have ventured to. The singing. The dancing. The rapping, I chuckled as I was given a bouquet of flowers when P’Mew and P’Stamp finished their song and the beat that I’ve been practicing to blared through the speakers. P’Mew looked at my direction, a look of surprise on his face and he gave a bright smile and I just—

  
  
  


_I think I’m falling for you._

  
  
  


The revelation didn’t come as a surprise. Actually it’s the opposite. My entire being suddenly felt like it was wrapped in a secured and warm blanket as my nervousness abated and the words to the rap left my lips. I stuttered for a bit, and P’Mew was hyping me and I wanted so much to hold his hand but I resisted that urgenand continued with the rap. Then I gave him the bouquet of roses, fingers lightly brushing against his veiny hand and if he noticed, it didn’t look like he minded since he gave me that same warm smile he gives me, as if telling me _“You did great. I am proud of you.”_

  
  
  


The live continued, and now we’re in the segment where we’ll be interviewed by the host. P’Mew and I were seated on a high stool and I was smiling at the camera when I felt phi’s warm body on my side so I looked at him and smiled, before I looked back at the fans who were selected to watch us. Then suddenly, the gentlest touch of his lips was on my shoulder once, then twice, and I can’t help the smile that blossomed on my lips and the heat that was immediately on my cheeks and ears. I can see our fans and even the staff trying not to squeal at the random act that P’Mew just did and to be honest, I was trying hard not to as well.

  
  
  


Eventually, the live ended and P’Mew and I talked to our fans a bit before he was rushed out of the venue by his managers, saying that they have a meeting at their office before he has to go home so I bid him goodbye and a hug. Now that I am admitting to myself that whatever it is I am feeling is more than being phi and nong with p’Mew, I hug him a little tighter. Just give me a bit more time. Let me be a hundred percent certain.

  
  
  


_I’ll tell you soon._


	10. Mew

The bustling environment of the hall was what greeted me once I entered. The lined chairs were already a quarter full of guests and the stage is on its final lights and sound check. I fixed my suit before I walked towards the familiar faces of my friends who were all waiting by the entrance of the red carpet.

  
  
  


”P’Mew!” It was Mild who noticed me first, and he bounced towards me to wrap me in a hug.

  
  
  


”Hey. What time did you guys arrive?” I asked, turning my attention to him and our other fellow actors.

  
  
  


”We got here 10 minutes ago. You've been here since lunch, right?”

  
  
  


”Yeah. Had to rehearse for my intermission number,” and I smiled at them as they showed me the light sticks Nong Stu had prepared for the event. We were chattering and sometimes we’ll hear the crowd from outside cheer as their favorite artists walk the red carpet but we stay rooted in place.

  
  
  


”What time is Gulf arriving?” First asked.

  
  
  


Checking my watch, I replied, “He told me he’d be here 30minutes tops, and that was 20 minutes ago.”

  
  
  


“Is he prepared already?” Hai spoke.

  
  
  


”Yeah, I helped him choose his attire for the red carpet.”

  
  
  


”Ohooo, I bet you chose a matching outfit!” Mild teased and I just gave a shrug as we all waited for my partner.

  
  
  


A few more moments passed and I was having fun goofing around with Mild and the others. I haven’t really got the chance to just chill with the new cast of Tharntype because of my busy schedule but I find it nice that despite the fact that we haven't really bonded during the shoot, they all regard me with friendliness and it was easy conversing with them. As we were listening to Title share a funny story about his sister, I suddenly felt as if someone was staring at my back so I looked back—

  
  
  


—and was met with familiar round eyes. 

  
  


When I met his eyes, I expected him to look away, but he didn’t. He held my gaze just as I held his and I regarded him with curiosity as I watched him standing up from his seat and making a move towards me.

  
  
  
  
  


”Hey,” Mild whispered to my ear, “why is Art walking towards us?”

  
  
  


But before I can answer, a warm hand found its way to mine, smoothly interlocking our fingers and giving it a squeeze. “I’m here, Phi,” Gulf said and I looked at him in surprise for a second before a smile found its way to my lips.

  
  
  


”Did you get here okay?” I asked, turning my body to face him and raised my free hand to brush a stray hair and tuck it behind his ear.

  
  
  


”Hmm,” he whispered and I watched as his eyes focused on something behind me for a second before he looked back. He squeezed my hand again, and turned to our companions as he gently pulled me towards the entrance of the red carpet. “Let’s go, phi. Our wanjaais are waiting,” he said. And as our names were announced by the MCs and the loud cheers of our fans were heard, Gulf released my hand and turned to place a hand behind my back to make me enter first. I hid my surprise by waving at our fans, and tried to brush it behind my mind of the unexpected gestures my partner is making.

  
  
  


“Welcome Mewgulf!” The female MC announced and we smiled and waved at the loud cheers of our fans.

  
  
  


”Why did you have to go together?”

  
  
  


And before I could answer, Gulf was already speaking, “Because we’re a couple.”

  
  
  


The unexpected bold response caught me off guard that I just let out a laugh as our fans grew ecstatic by Gulf’s response. And I let my eyes settle on his features, seeing his smiling face as he spoke again, “I meant, we are Mewgulf.” Naturally, I wrapped an arm around his waist and I felt him slightly relax as we gave our final wave before we were ushered inside the hall and to our seats.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


The Kazz awards commenced and I hollered and cheered as I watched Gulf receive his award. It feels so amazing to see him get appreciated by people around him with the talent he has, and I can’t help the feeling of pride swell in my heart. When he came back wearing the black suit, I turned to him and said, “Nong, I have to go backstage to change.”

  
  
  


He looked back at me, sudden uncertainty in his eyes and his brows furrowing. “Nong?”

  
  
  


”Just,” he started to speak softly, before he raised his head and leveled me with a glare, “don’t talk to unnecessary people while you’re backstage.”

  
  
  


”What? Who are you talking about?”

  
  
  


”You know who,” he hissed then he looked away, still wearing a frown.

  
  
  


Not liking the look of annoyance on Gulf, I reached out a hand and caught his, hooking my pinky in his. This caught him off guard as he looked at our pinkies then turned to look at me. “I promise I won’t. So stop pouting, okay? Cheer for me, while I sing for you and our wanjaais,” I said, giving him a smile before I left to change.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


**Congratulations, you old teenager!**

  
  
  


A chuckle left my lips as I read P’Nadech’s message to me. The awards night just ended and I was on my way home with my mother when I received his message.

  
  
  


**Thank you. Told you I still look like a teen, unlike someone...**

**  
  
  
**

**Whatever, you ass.**

**Congratulations to your love as well ;)**

**Such a power couple you are.**

  
  
  


I rolled my eyes as I read his reply but can’t help but feel a jolt of pride and happiness in my heart. We have won a total of four awards, and Gulf has bagged the Best Young Actor of the year. The fans have been tagging us on twitter and instagram to congratulate us on our win and I may have seen some posts stating that we are the ‘power couple’ of the night. I try not to let that get into me that much.

  
  
  


**Have you been on twitter again? Stop following our fan accounts!**

  
  
  


**Why?! I am a wanjaai, you know!**

**  
  
  
**

**Shut up!**

**  
  
  
**

**Have you seen this, though? If not, you’re welcome.**

  
  
  


Then a link was sent to me so I clicked it and was directed to a twitter account who posted a 30 second video of an interview Gulf did. When the video loaded and I finished watching, I slump down on my seat and hid my flaming face as my heartbeat accelerated.

  
  
  


_“They can see, but they can’t have it anyway.”_

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


I just entered the car when I felt my phone vibrate. Getting it from my pocket, I slid the screen to answer as I secured the seat belt. “Hello?”

  
  
  


”Phi,” came a soft grumble and I smiled automatically at the sleepy voice.

  
  
  


”Tua aeng. Still sleepy?”

  
  
  


”Hmm...I got home around 1 and wasn’t able to go to sleep til around 3.”

  
  
  


I frowned. We had the shoot for Type’s ordination ceremony yesterday, and I knew for a fact that Gulf had stayed way later than me at the site because they had to shoot his scenes, so I worry how he’ll be today since we have the Freefire party event.

  
  
  


”Where are you, phi? I’m already here,” he said and I was surprised.

  
  
  


”Eh? It’s just 9:30am, tua aeng. What are you doing there so early?”

  
  
  


”Asked P’Best to drive me here early so I won’t risk oversleeping,” he explained then I heard him yawn. “And I wanna practice our song...why aren’t you here yet?” Gulf ended with a soft whine.

  
  
  


”I’m on my way, nong. Did you have breakfast? Want me to get you something?”

  
  
  


”They have snacks here.”

  
  
  


”Those are snacks, tua aeng. Not proper food. Wait for me, I’ll buy us lunch.”

  
  
  


”Okay, phi. Hurry though. I miss you,” his voice got quiet and as shocked as I was, I heard the call getting dropped hastily.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


I was greeted by the artists that were invited with us and I returned their greetings as I balanced the paper bag in one hand and the drinks I am holding in my other hand.

  
  
  


”Have you seen Gulf?” I asked a staff member and he kindly pointed me to the waiting area where I easily see my partner playing with his phone. Making my way towards him, I watched as he looked towards my direction and immediately perked up as I neared.

  
  
  


”You’re here,” he said.

  
  
  


”Of course,” I replied with a smile. I placed our food and drinks on the table in front of him before I took the empty seat on his right. Unwrapping our food, I placed Gulf’s portion in front of him, and got mine, then I passed him his warm drink.

  
  
  


”I got you hot chocolate. I hope it’ll give you enough energy for today,” I turned to him, watching as he blew on the cup and taking a sip. He was hunching down and curling on himself. “Are you cold?” I asked him, and he just gave a small nod. Knowing that Gulf gets quiet and reserved in a new environment, I took it upon myself to look after him as much as I can for this event. And also because I can see his eyes getting unfocused due to the tiresome day he had yesterday. With this resolve, I looked around and successfully located his backpack. I grabbed and opened it, pulling out his blue blanket before I wrapped it around him. As I did this, he was eating in small portions and eventually he stopped eating.

  
  
  


”Not hungry anymore?”

  
  
  


”Hmm.”

  
  
  


”Want to take a nap?”

  
  
  


”Yes please,” he said and looked at me with tired eyes. Smiling, I stood up and got a chair without a backrest, and made him relocate. When he sluggishly did, I placed my chair right behind him and pulled him back to rest on my chest. “You can take a nap. I’ll wake you when they need us,” I whispered in his ear and he gave a nod before stretching and rested his head on my shoulder. Finding a comfortable position, I grabbed my iPad and wrapped my arms around Gulf’s waist, resting my device lightly on his tummy as I opened a research article and read.

  
  
  


***

  
  


The moment I opened my eyes, I knew today’s not going to be easy.

  
  
  


My head is pounding and I can feel my throat feeling scratchy. Slowly, I sat up from bed and reached out to the glass of water I always put on the bedside table before going to bed. Once I felt quite steady, I gradually stood up to assess if I can handle gravity and when it seemed like I can, I made a mental fist pump because at least I won’t be too useless if I can stand on my own.

  
  
  


”Mew?”

  
  
  


My mother knocked, and I told her to enter. “Son, it’s already—,” she paused as she saw my ruffled state and frowned. “Are you okay?”

  
  
  


”Hmmm, Just a bit of cold,” I said and winced as my voice sounded a bit hoarse.

  
  
  


She walked towards me and felt my forehead, and I welcomed her touch and nuzzled my cheek on it. “You need to rest.”

  
  
  


”I can’t. We have the destiny event today,” I reasoned.

  
  
  


”I know. But can’t you cancel?”

  
  
  


Shaking my head, which I immediately regretted since my headache is killing me, I just tried to reassure her with a smile. “It’s okay, mama. It’ll only be for an hour then I’ll come back here at once.”

  
  
  


Sensing that I won’t be yielding, she pinched my cheek lightly. “Fine, but I’ll be coming with you at your event.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


I was wishing half the time for the event to end. The medicine I drank a few hours ago had lost its effect just as soon as the event started and I feel lightheaded. So I looked up and tried to keep the smile on my face as I greeted our fans. Nong Stu had informed them that I wasn’t feeling well and my social media had been full of me getting well soon and to rest after the event, and I appreciate them.

  
  
  


But above all else, I am grateful for Gulf. Once I arrived and he saw my sick state at the dressing room, he had stayed close to me and had fussed on my health every five minutes as we prepared. And on stage, he was speaking more and had told the MC that he’ll speak more for today’s event so I don’t have to talk much. When the MC was interacting with the audience, I took it as an opportunity to pull Gulf towards me to whisper, “Thank you. I’m sorry for being a burden today.”

  
  
  


”You’re not a burden, phi. Let me take care of you,” he whispered back and despite his voice being only audible to me, I blocked his mic and pulled it down as I gave him a grateful smile.

  
  
  


***

Once the Destiny live ended, my mother had instructed nong Stu to bring me straight home. So after changing out of our outfits, Gulf and I left the shopping mall and I tried my best to stay up on two feet as I walked towards the car. Before entering, Gulf had pulled me to the side to tell me to rest well and gave me a hurried hug as we went our separate ways.

  
  
  


When I arrived home, I sluggishly went up to my bedroom where I saw my mother had prepared my sleeping clothes and a medicine tablet on my bedside table. After a quick warm shower, I took my medication and burrowed myself into my warm blankets and let my consciousness leave me.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Gentle touches.

  
  
  


Soft caresses.

  
  
  


My eyes fluttered open as I felt touches on my hair and cheek. I squinted as I looked for that source of warm fleeting touches on my a few moments ago, but the darkness of my room and the blurriness of my sight is not helping so I let out a whine.

  
  
  


”Shhh,” came a soft whisper to my left and I turned towards the sound.

  
  
  


Something damp fell from my forehead and the hands reached out to take it away before it soiled the sheets. With bleary eyes, I wiggled under the blankets until I felt a solid body on my side and I wrapped an arm around it. The body chuckled, causing me to jostle a bit but it’s okay. The sound was pretty to the ears, I wouldn’t mind if it happened again. Absentmindedly, I rubbed my head on the part I was attached to and I was rewarded by the soft sounds of giggling.

  
  
  


”Such a clingy one, Khun Phi,” came a teasing voice then the hand playing with my hair resumed it’s action earlier so I sighed in contentment. “I don’t like seeing you sick, phi. You work so hard that you forget you’re not a superhero, you know. I hope you look after yourself better. But, I do admit, taking care of you like this is nice. Who would’ve thought I’d enjoy looking after a big cuddly panda like yourself.”

  
  
  


”I like it too. I like it when Gulf looks after me.”

  
  
  


”You do?”

  
  
  


”Hmmm...Gulf—“ I grumbled, eyes still closed. “So gentle. So sweet. So so—“

  
  
  


”—beautiful.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


The days passed like a blur as I once again delved into my schedule. And as of the moment, I am sitting on a sofa with Gulf, sharing laughter and answering our fans’ questions as we go through our Unifresh live. To be honest, I prefer lives like this; without overbearing MCs or not having to follow a very thorough script. Just us and the fans sharing time together.

  
  
  


Due to our hectic schedules, both individually and as a couple, it was only during lives such as these that we get to have somewhat a breather and just spend time together. Albeit we do it infront of other people, but still, it’s comforting to just have Gulf beside me, sharing a joke or a story, and having him within reach. Our fans have voiced out that they liked seeing us like this, and we get fulfillness from giving our supporters happiness with just watching us through their screen.

  
  
  


And if at moments I pull Gulf closer to me or hold his hand, and even if I do it for some selfish reasons, nobody seems to mind. So, it’s a win-win.

  
  
  


When the live ended, Gulf bid me goodbye as he was going straight to the filming site for our final shoot tomorrow and ti spend some time with the crew who were already there. I had the urge to go and join them, but I had an early schedule for tomorrow so I would just follow in the afternoon.

  
  
  


The last day of filming.

  
  
  


It was still vivid in my memory how our last day in filming during the first season went. How the impending feeling of loss was there and everyone was holding back tears as we all got attached to each other dearly. The way I had to hold on to my partner as that feeling of loneliness took over me and how Gulf held on just as tight. But right now, there was a sense of tranquil. Seeing how all our hard work paid off, being granted another season to work together. There was still the sadness of not being able to see each other as frequent as before, but the bond we all fostered would remain.

  
  
  


And for some reason, the feeling of loneliness wasn’t there.

  
  
  


I would miss Gulf dearly, and I know we’ll still see each other for our schedule but knowing that we are both flourishing in our craft is giving me a sense of peace I never knew I needed. Seeing Gulf grow more confident in his own skin, watching him be curious of other things outside his comfort zone, it makes me happy. 

  
  


And these feelings inside my heart are just simmering lightly but not painfully. It feels like these affections were just—there. Not wanting to be forcefully exposed but not locked up inside either. It’s just there, sitting lightly enough to know that I feel them, that it’s not a residue of a character I played. That it’s all mine. My feelings. My emotions. My love.

  
  
  


Letting these thoughts run in my mind, and fully accepting them without any hindrance, I slept peacefully for the first time in a while.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


”P’Mew!”

  
  


I looked back and saw Mild stop right in front of me. “Gulf is looking for you.”

  
  
  


”Where is he?”

  
  
  


”At the beach side,” he replied and gave me a small nudge before he joined the others at the restaurant. Removing my slippers, I held them in my hands as I felt the fine sand on my feet and made my way towards the direction Mild pointed at. It wasn’t hard to find my partner. It took me five minutes of walking idly when I saw him seated on the sand, facing the beach.

  
  
  


”Tua aeng,” I called out when I was near enough and he looked back at me and gave a small smile.

  
  
  


”I was waiting for you,” he said and I sat myself behind him, slotting him between my legs and wrapping my arms around his torso. Willingly, Gulf rested his back on my chest and placed his hands on mine and we just sat like that. The waves are the only melody surrounding us and the moon serving as our only light.

  
  
  


”Have you ever felt,” Gulf started, “the need to act out on a certain emotion so much that not doing so just hurts?”

  
  
  


I was stunned in silence by the sudden deep question. A few moments passed and I still haven’t found the words to say so Gulf tilted his head to look right at my eyes, “Be honest with me, P’Mew. Please,” he whispered. And as I was sucked in by the depths of his eyes, and having them stare right into me this close, all I did was give a nod.

  
  
  


”Tell me, Phi—am I the only one who feels this?” 

  
  


Then he took my right hand, and firmly pressed it on his chest. And his heart is pounding. I can feel his heart thudding, pushing gently at my palms and I took in a sharp breath. “Do you feel how my heart just acts crazy when you’re around? It took me awhile to realize, and took me a bit more to be sure, but now I am confident to say that I like you, P’Mew.”

  
  
  


”Gulf—“ I whispered, feeling my throat dry and not finding the words to say.

  
  
  


”I can take a guess on what you might say,” he chuckled, removing my hand on his chest and instead took it on both his hands to play with my fingers. He looked away again, staring right back at the waves. “I bet you’re thinking that it might be the Type in me speaking. But it isn’t. I won’t say this out loud if I am not sure with what I’m feeling because one, it would seem such a selfish move. And two, I really really don’t want to hurt you so I thought hard again and again if what I’m feeling towards you is not because of a character I played but as Gulf. Just Gulf.”

  
  
  


”Maybe I have felt like this for a while, or maybe it’s just new, I can’t be too certain on when it started,” he continued. “But this—liking you...I have never been so sure of anything, phi. I like you so much I don’t know what to do. I didn’t know I was capable of being possessive or jealous. Seeing people openly admire you, trying to catch your attention. I never knew I’d be so petty about such things. During the Kazz awards, knowing that P’Art was there, so close to your proximity and I’m just—“

  
  
  


He paused and took in a deep breath.

  
  
  


”I’m reminded again just how much I like you.”

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


.

  
  
  


”Phi, talk to me.”

  
  
  


”I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, letting my head fall and hiding on his neck. I felt him shiver as my lips touched his nape so I gave a bit of space.

  
  
  


”Tell me what you feel,” he uttered softly. “If—If I’m reading too much into it and you’re...and you don’t feel the same—“

  
  
  


”Oh, tua aeng,” I held him closer, arms tightening around him. “You’re not reading too much into it.”

  
  
  


”So, you mean—“

  
  
  


”I like you, Gulf. Maybe more than you know,” I admitted and my heart is soaring as I let the words out. To finally be able to utter these words to the person who is meant to hear them.

  
  
  


”You do?” Came a shaky reply, and pulled back and made Gulf face me. And it surprised me to see tears on the verge of spilling from his beautiful eyes.

  
  
  


”Why are you crying?” I asked, taking his face on my hands and wiping his tears away with my thumb.

  
  
  


He chuckled wetly, hands going on top of mine. “I don’t know.”

  
  
  


”Silly, silly, tua aeng,” I whispered then brought his head forward to rest my forehead on his. We stayed like this, sharing warmth through our hands and our breaths as the salty air of the beach envelope us.

  
  
  


And I have never felt more at home.

  
  
  


Once we have calmed down, we went back to our original position and just felt at peace having our feelings across.

  
  
  


”We have to take this slow,” I said as my hand was drumming a random beat on his tummy and his fingers were running through my arms, lightly tracing my veins.

  
  
  


”Okay. I don’t think anything would change much,” he spoke. “We already act like we’re together. The only difference now is that we are aware of what we really feel. But—phi, are we boyfriends now then?”

  
  
  


Chuckling, I said, “I would like to be given the chance to actually ask you the question as a surprise. And do we really need a label right now? Isn’t it enough that we know we like each other?”

  
  
  


”Hmm...I did say you have to ask mae first.”

  
  
  
  


And I pinch his tummy in retaliation as we both chuckled.

***

  
  
  


When it was time to leave since we both have our schedule the next day, I walked him towards the car he’ll be taking with his mother and father. His parents are already inside the car and I gave them a wai and they smiled at me before I turned to their son.

  
  
  


”You message me when you get home safe,” I said.

  
  
  


”You too, phi. Take a rest,” he replied before he reached out and wrapped his arms around me. I accepted the warm embrace and my arms wound around his waist. As we were about to let go, I felt soft lips landing on my neck sneakily and Gulf let go with a teasing smile.

  
  
  


”See you, phi.”

  
  
  


Then he got in the car and they left.

  
  
  


A small smile has been etched permanently on my lips as I headed towards my car. As we were driving out the resort, I heard my phone ping and I got it out to see a message.

  
  
  


**I miss you already.**

**  
  
  
**

**Whoever said you’re not romantic is sorely mistaken.**

**  
  
  
**

**Well, I guess your romanticism has rubbed off on me.**

**And I’m not planning to be romantic to anyone else.**

**Just to you.**

**  
  
  
**

**Omygod, stop! You’re making me blush!**

**  
  
  
**

**I am?!**

**Well then...thank you for the information. 😏**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a Gulf who initiates and being so courageous.
> 
> I enjoyed writing this. Hope you all enjoyed as well.  
> There would be two chapters left.
> 
> See you soon.


	11. Gulf

I let out a big sigh as soon as we entered the waiting room. The Destiny Clinic Live just ended and I felt immense relief that I did not mess up the song earlier. My heart had been beating so fast during the first half of the event. But when it was time to just interact with the Phiphi wanjaais, I gradually felt at ease and answered their questions with a smile. And yet, despite the warm welcome of the people and their support, the stage still felt too big; too empty.

  
  
  


Slumping down the couch, I stooped down to remove the shoes I was forced to wear. Once my feet were free from those menacing boots, I set it aside and spread my toes to regain circulation in them. I can’t help but wince with how sore my feet are even if I just wore those shoes for an hour. As I waited for P’Best to gather our things, I took out my phone and re-read the last message I received before I was called on stage.

  
  
  


**From Khun Phi**

**You can do it, Tua-aeng. Just sing from the heart.**

**Enjoy! But not too much na 🥺**

**And try to put a distance between you and the MC please 555**

**Message me when you’re done.**

**Su su na ❤️**

  
  
  


“What are you smiling at?” Startled, I automatically locked my phone and put it down, as I looked up to find P’Best watching me with an unreadable expression. ”Nothing, phi. Are we leaving?” I asked instead, and I resisted the urge to bite my lips in nervousness as my manager pinned me with a look before he said we’re leaving.

  
  
  


We just entered the elevator going to the parking lot where my mother is already waiting when P’Best suddenly said, “You know, you should really work on your facial expressions. Especially if you’re trying to hide the fact that you are in love and dating.” And I was shocked by the words that I immediately looked at my manager, feeling like I just had a whiplash, and stuttered, “Wha—I—phi—“

  
  
  


P’Best turned to look at my panic-stricken face before he lets out a laugh. Hearing this, I tilted my head to the right in confusion. “You’re not—mad?”

  
  
  


”Why should I be?”

  
  
  


”Because—I didn’t tell you,” I said softly, looking down in guilt.

  
  
  


A firm hand was placed on my shoulder, and I lifted my gaze to see P’Best smiling at me kindly. “You have no obligation to tell me what you decide to do in your private life. I am your manager, and it’s never in my job description to meddle on whoever you decide to date, nong.” Then he removed his hand, looking straight ahead again. “Besides, Nong Mew already talked to me about it.”

  
  
  


”What?”

  
  
  


”He called me the night you both decided to stop beating around the bush, apparently. Imagine my surprise when he called me at almost 3 in the morning just to tell me that your feelings are mutual and that he’d do anything to protect you and what you both have,” he added. And I can do nothing but to look at my manager, speechless. “I just want to say that if you both expect this to work in your favor, remember that everything can be solved with proper communication. I’ve been with you long enough to know that you still struggle to speak up, Gulf. But this is you and Mew. If you both decide to keep quiet about the development of your relationship, you’d have to communicate properly to avoid misunderstandings. Be clear with your intentions, your goals and future plans, even your insecurities. If you want this to last for as long as you both want, pure honesty should be shared.”

  
  
  


”Take this as an my advice to you, okay?” p’Best ended just as the elevator doors opened and we were greeted by the fans who were waiting. I placed a smile on my face, and bid my supporters goodnight as I entered the car, but before my manager closed the door I reached out a hand to P’Best’s arm and gave a squeeze.

  
  
  


Then whispered, “Thank you, phi.”

  
  
  


He gave me a small smile and a nod, then he closed the door and my mom started driving home. As I recalled the words my manager told me, I was reminded again how these feelings I have for P’Mew is nothing I have ever felt before. Sure, I have been in relationships, the longest one lasted for almost three years, but it was never to this extent; not in this level of affection and trust. I can’t remember the last time someone had occupied my mind and heart as much as P’Mew have. How much I miss him even if we’ve just parted for a few hours. How happy I feel to be wrapped in his arms. It was all too consuming that it’s scary.

  
  
  


But at the same time, exhilarating.

  
  
  


_If you want this to last for as long as you both want, pure honesty should be shared_

  
  
  


“Mae, can you drop me off at BEX?”

  
  
  


”Sure, son. Does Mew know you’re visiting?”

  
  
  


”No. I just—I have something to talk about with Phi,” I answered honestly, and she spared me a glance before she gave a knowing gentle smile and nodded. “Should we get him dinner? I’m sure Mew’s hungry with his rehearsals.”

  
  


Smiling, I answered, “Yeah. The japanese restaurant he likes is still open. Let’s get him sushi.”

  
  


***

  
  
  


“Hey, nong,” P’Stu greeted me as he flashed an ID to the guards and guided me inside the theater’s backstage. Earlier, I realized that I might not be granted access because it’s already almost 9 in the evening and it’s not like anyone can just enter the premises even if I know the people inside. So I called P’Mew’s manager to fetch me outside as my mother dropped me off and drove home.

  
  
  


”P’Mew is halfway done with rehearsals for the round 2. It would take around an hour at most,” he said as we walked the bright and cool halls of the backstage. I see the staff running around, and when they see me they give me a smile which I return. And some of them tried to hide their squeal but since it’s quite a narrow hallway, their sound echoes and I can’t help the blush that reaches my cheek every time. But surprisingly, no one’s lifting their phone to record my surprise arrival.

  
  


“Surprised that no one’s recording?”

  
  
  


I looked at P’Stu and he has a smirk on his face. “Ever since the briefing for this showcase, P’Mew’s been adamant about a single rule. And that is no staff is allowed to record any backstage footage. As long as they are not certified media, no phones or cameras are allowed backstage.”

  
  
  


”Oh...that’s—,” then it clicked. “Did P’Mew tell you too? About him and me?”

  
  
  


”Yes. That is exactly why he made that rule. So as to not invade your privacy more than people already have,” he said seriously.

  
  


“I see,” I said softly, hand gripping the paper bag tightening. 

  
  


“Did I say something wrong?”

  
  
  


”No—nothing,” I fumbled before I took a breath and sighed. “I just learned from my manager that P’Mw already talked to him about us. And I am grateful that he is doing this to protect me and what we have but...I just—I want to be given the chance to protect him too.”

  
  
  


We stopped walking and I looked around to see that we are just at the side of the stage. I can hear P’Mew talking with the band with some adjustments then the music started again and P’Mew’s soft voice permeated around us. I let his warm voice soothe me before I returned my gaze to nong Stu to realize he’s already looking at me, observing.

  
  
  


”Phi?”

  
  
  


”I may not be around P’Mew for as long as you have but I can see how much he treasures you. And I know you don’t need me to tell you this because you, out of anyone else should know, that it is in P’Mew’s nature to protect those he holds dear. He does it as if it’s instinct. It may be because he’s a first born and he got used to protecting his sister during their childhood days, I don’t know. But P’Mew just loves taking care of his people. And you are on the very top of that list.”

  
  
  
  


P’Stu then turned to look at the stage, and from where we’re standing, we can see P’Mew singing softly with a hand on his chest. We grew quiet as we watched him shine so bright on stage and I can’t wait to see how much brighter he’ll shine when the theater will be filled with people who love and support him.

  
  
  


”Thank you, Nong,” P’Stu suddenly spoke and I looked back at him in question. He gave me a smile and said, “P’Mew is so used to protecting his people, that he forgets he needs to be protected too.”

  
  
  


Then he turned and clapped, announcing our presence. “Okay, why don’t we all take five? Our second alien decided to give us a sudden visit!” All eyes turned to our direction and my eyes immediately met warm brown eyes. He gave me a big smile that I can’t help but smile back as I walked to the stage, greeting everyone with a wai as they all took a break. P’Mew was in front of me in a flash, a hand smoothly wrapping around my waist as he pulled me in for a short gentle hug.

  
  
  


When we pulled away, he gave me a smile and standing close to him, I can clearly see the fondness in his orbs that I wanted to just wrap my arms around him, but I resisted the urge to do so. Not when we’re surrounded by people. 

  
  


“What are you doing here? Not that I don’t want you here. It’s just a surprise,” P’Mew spoke softly, as if afraid that anyone else would hear.

  
  
  


”I brought you food,” I replied, raising the paper bag in my hand. His eyes widened and a happy look was on his face when he saw where I got his food from that he immediately pulled me forward. We sat down on the floor, our legs dangling at the edge of the stage as he opened the package and let out a small squeal when he saw the salmon. I chuckled at his antics but proceeded to open the containers for him to enjoy.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


The rehearsals ended at 12 midnight and P’Mew immediately bid everyone else goodbye as soon as he was cleared to go. He walked to where I was watching from the seats and guided me to the parking lot.

  
  
  


”We’re not going with P’Stu?”

  
  
  


”Nah, I drove my own car here,” P’Mew replied as he opened my door and ushered me to enter. I locked my seat belt as P’Mew rounded the car to the driver seat and in no time we were driving towards his home. When I asked if I can sleepover at his house, he immediately agreed since I won’t be with him during the afternoon showcase due to my schedule. It just so happened that the Boyfriend music video will be filmed tomorrow morning until the afternoon so I had no choice but to just attend the night showcase even if I wanted to be there and witness P’Mew’s show the entire day.

  
  
  


As we drove through the slightly busy streets of Bangkok, P’Mew had reached out to hold my hand, resting it on my thigh. And it stayed there the entire ride. When we reached his house, it was already dark and quiet so we carefully made our way towards his room. We separately took a shower, and he lent me his sleeping clothes. When I exited the bathroom, I found P’Mew on bed, playing with his phone which he immediately abandoned when he saw me. He gave me a soft smile, lifted the blankets and gestured for me to get in the bed. Once I was within reach, his hand grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him so that I ended up with my head on his chest. I felt his fingers running through my hair soothingly and I can’t help but let out a happy sigh as I felt myself melt.

  
  
  


“Now tell me what is running inside this head of yours,” came a soft voice and I was reminded of what I came here for. 

  
  
  


Immediately, I lifted my head and tried to put some distance between us, and I tried to ignore P’Mew’s cute whining of, “No~why are you going away?”

  
  
  


”Phi, I want to talk to you about something.”

  
  
  


He gave me a pout and said, “Can’t we talk while hugging?”

  
  
  


I gawked at him, feeling my cheeks flush at his neediness before I chuckled and placed a hand on his cheek, “We’ll hug all you want later. Let’s talk first.”

  
  


“Okay,” he replied but still with a pout. I shook my head at him fondly, before I lie down beside him, still keeping a distance then I turned to my side facing him. After a few seconds, he swiftly followed my position and our eyes were at level with each other, hands resting on each other in between us and we stayed still. I let my eyes wander around his face, noting the tired yet happy look on his face and I can feel his eyes studying me in return.

  
  
  


“I heard you told P’Best about us,” I started.

  
  
  


”I did.”

  
  
  


”Why?”

  
  
  


His brows furrowed and he looked at me in confusion. “What do you mean why?”

  
  
  


”Why didn’t you tell me you’re telling P’Best and P’Stu?”

  
  
  


I watched as his face got more confused, not understanding why I am asking these questions. “I told them because I don’t want them blindsided. You know how our fans are smart and no matter how much careful we are, knowing us, we’ll be spilling teas left and right and I just want our managers to be prepared for—“

  
  
  


”No, phi. I meant, why didn’t you tell me? We should’ve talked and made decisions about these together. You can’t just decide on doing something because you think it’s the best for me,” I said seriously. P’Mew got quiet as he let the word I said register and he looked down, avoiding my eyes.

  
  
  


”I just wanted to protect you,“ he whispered.

  
  
  


”I know you do,” I said gently. I raised a hand and placed it on his cheek, coaxing him to look back at me. When his eyes found mine once again, What I saw there was uncertainty; as if he was expecting me to not understand. And my heart breaks a little. Because this man, who has so much love to give, has been hurt too many times to count. Betrayed by the people he trusts that now he feels wary and looks like a child who’s been reprimanded of doing something he shouldn’t. “I know you want to protect me phi and I am grateful for that. But I’m not just your nong anymore. And you’re not just my phi. Even if we’re not yet putting a label to what we have for now, we are in a mutual understanding of our feelings. And we should handle things as a team. As partners.”

  
  
  


”I—“ P’Mew started, but then he stopped and I watched as his eyes started to water.

  
  
  


Seeing this, I gently cupped his face and wiped his eyes with my thumb before his tears would pour out. “I understand your need to protect me,” I continued with a whisper, and yet in the quiet confines of his room, it was as if my voice echoed. “I understand it clearly because I want to protect you too. And in order to protect what we have, we have to have full honesty with each other.”

  
  
  


”Full disclosure?” He asked.

  
  
  


”Full disclosure,” I agreed. “Okay?”

  
  
  


P’Mew nodded, then said, “Okay.” And I let myself be led by my overgrowing feelings as I guided P’Mew’s face towards me and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. I felt him let out a sigh and his arms wrapping around my waist as he drew me closer, resting his head on my chest. 

  
  
  


And we fell asleep wrapped around each other.

***

  
  
  


He is glowing shining.

  
  
  


For all the times I had seen P’Mew looking like a deity, this image right in front of me is evidence enough that this man is mystical. My eyes linger on his broad back and his jacket is making him sparkle as the spotlight focuses on him. A smile had been permanently etched on my face as soon as I joined P’Mew on stage earlier, and I even let a few tears fall as I watched from the backstage as this man who’s loved my millions poured out his gratitude to these people. The people who never left; who gave him encouragement and gave him the will to pursue his passion in music.

  
  
  


When he pulled me for a hug earlier, I let myself be drawn to him as our arms tightened around each other. And it may have only lasted for a second, but when our eyes met, I can see the fondness in his eyes that I know are reflected in mine too. I smiled at his mother and she wrapped an arm around me, making our fans crazy and we both shared a laugh and his mom was watching us closely. With a knowing smile on her lips as well.

  
  
  


Once we were all lined up, I felt P’Mew take my hand and I gave it a subtle squeeze as he raised it, and we all gave the final bow. P’Mew stayed on stage to bid his fans goodnight and to sign some posters so I walked to the side and was met with P’Mew’s mother.

  
  
  


”Nong Gulf,” she greeted and before I could even answer back, she wrapped her arms around me and whispered, “Thank you for being there for my Mew. I hope he makes you happy as much as I know you make him happy.” Then she lets go, gives me a tearful smile and bids me goodnight. 

  
  


I stood there frozen, as I watched her walk away. Then a tap on my shoulder made me turn and was met with the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen. “Hey, what are you doing standing here?” P’Mew asked with a smile. 

Moving without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hiding my face on the juncture of his shoulder and neck. I felt his arms wrap on my waist and for a few moments, we stayed like that. Not minding the staff who are running around, the band and guests who are walking back to their waiting rooms. Seasons of you is playing in the theater, as the area was still buzzing with the fans and I know I have to let go. P’Mew still has some interview and signing to do. But for a few minutes I let myself be selfish.

  
  
  


”I am so proud of you, _tee ruk_ ,” I whispered. And I heard P’Mew gasp.

  
  
  


”Gulf,” he uttered with a hitch in his voice.

  
  
  


My arms tightened around him, and I may be squeezing him too much but he doesn’t seem to mind. And my heart is pounding hard in my chest. These feelings—all too consuming and exhilarating. It was too much and yet not enough. I just really—really—

  
  
  


“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tua aeng- darling  
> tee ruk- My love
> 
> One chapter left!  
> I am so happy and proud of Mew.  
> I purposely waited for his showcase before I write this chapter because I felt like seeing MewGulf’s interaction in Mew’s special event would give me inspiration to write this.
> 
> And I was right.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this.


	12. MewGulf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s stay together for a long time. -Mew Suppasit
> 
> I want to stay with you forever. -Gulf Kanawut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be in third person’s POV.

The moment Mew entered the temple where the entire TharnType team were for their final merit, he immediately noticed that something was amiss. Once his presence was made known, P’Jane had passed him his shirt to change into. Then he was ambushed by Mild and James who were both gushing about his successful performance at the CAT Expo. He gives them a thankful smile, then they were joined in by Becca, Run, Tong and First. And all the others.

  
  
  


Except for Gulf.

  
  
  


Mew had seen the younger in the corner of the room, drinking a green box of UniFresh, sporting a scowl and keeping to himself. Although Mew knows that Gulf really is not a morning person by nature, this time it was different. His nong has been going home late for the past couple of days preparing for the debut of Boyfriend. And yesterday, he went to his college get-together. They did a short video call before they bid each other farewell last night and all was well.

  
  
  
  


He was staring the younger down, when Gulf looked up and met his eyes. Mew was about to give him a small smile when Gulf looked away, his frown deepening. Before Mew had the chance to get away from his colleagues and confront Gulf of whatever it was that’s bothering the younger, they were called in for the start of their final merit.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Gulf breathed heavily as he sat down on the floor and grabbed his tumbler.

  
  
  


”Good job, nong,” P’Best came and handed him his towel to wipe off his sweat.

  
  
  


”Thanks, phi. I still made a mistake on the hook part though,” the other replied with an annoyed tone. He’s been trying to practice that part diligently but no matter how many times he’d repeated it, he always seemed to fumble with his words then it would mess up his steps for the choreography. 

  
  


P’Best looks at the young man he’s managing, studying the frown and annoyed tone. If he was anyone else he would holly believe Gulf’s frustration, however, the time he had spent deciphering this boy had made him quite adept in decoding Gulf’s mood swings. “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” he just said before he told him that he’ll be waiting for him at the parking lot since they are done for today’s rehearsal. As P’Best was mounting the elevator, his phone rang and the caller ID made him sigh for the nth time for tonight.

  
  
  


”You better make sure he’s not late for tomorrow,” he immediately said, not bothering with a greeting as he answered the call.

  
  
  


***

Meanwhile, Gulf was leaning on his right side, resting heavily on the elevators to try and alleviate the weight his legs carry. His entire body is sore from all the moving and his eyes are starting to feel heavy from sleep deprivation as well. Once the elevator doors opened, he let out a sigh and went out, glad that it’s too late that he didn't need to move against a sea of his supporters. He loves and appreciates his phi phi wanjais with all his heart, but he’s so exhausted that he can’t even bring himself to smile too long for the cameras.

  
  
  


Looking around, he frowned when P’Best was nowhere to be seen and he was just about to pull out his phone when a white Honda Civic stopped in front of him. The window rolled down and he was met by someone he wasn’t in the mood to see.

  
  
  


”Get in.”

  
  
  


”No, thank you,” Gulf replied shortly, standing up and dialing his manager’s number.

  
  
  


”P’Best already left,” Mew said matter-of-factly from the driver seat. “I’ll be the one taking you home. Get in the car, tua aeng.”

  
  
  


When Gulf made no movement, Mew sighed and unbuckled his seat belt. He went out of the car and slowly approached the younger who’s still avoiding his eyes. Once he was right beside Gulf, he gently traced a finger on the younger’s palm, leaving a lingering touch, as if asking permission. When Gulf didn’t move away, Mew finally took the younger’s hand in his. “Please get in the car, tua aeng. We have to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you. Full disclosure, remember?”

  
  
  


It took a moment for Gulf to finally release the tension in his shoulder and let out a defeated sigh as he finally took a step towards the car, not letting go of the hand he’s holding. Mew opened the door for his nong and placed him in his seat belt before he jogged to the driver’s seat.

  
  
  


”I bought you take out from your favorite stall. P’Best told me you haven’t had dinner,” Mew started and reached to the back of the car to pass Gulf a bag of warm food. The smell of his favorite food wafted through Gulf and he slumped down in his seat and took out the container. Mew watched from the corner of his eyes as the younger started munching on his food, and they spent the ride in silence.

  
  
  


When Gulf finally took the time to notice his surroundings, he realized they’re not going to the direction of his condo. “Where are we going?” He finally spoke.

  
  
  


”We’ll just make a detour. I’ll take you to your condo in a bit,” Mew said before he took a right turn. It was another five minutes of silence until Mew finally cut off the engine and looked forward. Gulf was also staring straight ahead, watching the vast river which was still in the night, prettily reflecting the lights of the bustling city of Bangkok.

  
  
  


”Talk to me, Gulf. Did I do something wrong?”

  
  
  


Came the straight forward question. Of course. His P’Mew was never one to beat around the bush especially when it comes to their misunderstandings. Gulf was quiet, but he was glad that his companion was not pressuring him to answer immediately. It’s one of the things he is grateful for; Mew just seems to magically know what Gulf needs, be it space or just the time to organize his thoughts.

  
  
  


”After we said good night last night,” Gulf started, “I was still scrolling through twitter. I was watching clips of your performance that the fans tagged me to since I wasn’t able to see you live. And you look so alive on stage, phi. You were magnificent and I’m so proud of you but then—I came across a video of an event you had earlier. Before the music show,” he trailed off and was now sporting a frown. “Then I saw some fans saying how cute you two looked and how you seem shy talking to her and—“

  
  
  


”So you got jealous?”

  
  
  


Gulf turned his head quickly to give his phi a glare, “I was not.”

  
  
  


It was difficult. Mew knows he shouldn’t find Gulf’s expression adorable but he can’t stop the smile that’s blooming on his face and the chuckle that left his lips that just made Gulf all the more annoyed. “I’m sorry,” Mew apologized as he met the younger’s deadly glare with a fond smile. “But you are jealous, tua aeng. Although, let me just say that you have nothing to be jealous of.”

  
  
  


The younger one lets out a huff, folding his arms on his chest and looking away with a pout. “But you said in you interview with P’Seoul that you liked small and white person before and—“

  
  
  


”Exactly,” Mew cut him off. “That was what I liked in a person before. But now, I want someone who can understand me. Someone who pouts cutely when he’s mad. Someone who denies he is jealous even if it is so obvious on his face. Someone who is proud of everything I do,” he continued and reached out to put his hand on Gulf’s cheek to coax the other to look at him. Once their eyes met, Mew rubbed his thumb on the younger’s cheek soothingly. “And someone who I am immensely proud of, as well.”

  
  
  


Gulf was mesmerized as he stared back at his phi. It seemed like no matter how many times he had locked eyes with this person, it still takes him by surprise with how much warmth and affection this pair of brown eyes have when they are focused on him. His heart feels elated and his mind grows blank once he has blurted out whatever it was that was growing heavy on his chest. He wasn’t even aware that those thoughts were looming in his head. Sighing, he leaned towards the warm palm on his cheek and closed his eyes. “Sorry. I was being unreasonable.”

  
  
  


”No you’re not,” Mew said gently. “You feel what you feel. Thank you for telling me.”

  
  
  
  


The younger’s lips quirked into a small smile as he replied, “We did agree on full disclosure.”

  
  
  


”Speaking of full disclosure. I wanted to tell you something...”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


The next few months had been such a busy time for the two. That night was the last time that they were able to spend time with each other because Mew finally released his 2nd single and was already planning for the release of his other songs while Gulf was promoting with his fellow actors for their boyfriend album. The Boyfriend project was a big success and Gulf found a new friend in P’War who greatly reminds him of P’Mild with his friendly personality.

  
  
  


Their talk in the riverside had solidified the bond between the two even more. Their ‘full disclosure’ rule had opened issues that they were both unaware of.

  
  
  


How Mew overheard Gulf and his friends a few months back, talking about introducing the younger to a girl he can date once their series is done. And Gulf did inform Mew that he did meet this girl; who happened to be a waanjai so their conversation during his friend’s party revolved around Mew and their ship. Gulf laughs at his phi’s shocked expression, but then he opens up about his slight annoyance towards Luke. And Mew had told Gulf that he sees Luke as a baby brother. The older shared his history with Nadech and how their families became close, and lastly informed Gulf that Luke is not interested in him like that since Luke has a steady boyfriend back in Boston who’s actually visiting Bangkok soon.

  
  
  


All their insecurities and worries were laid bare that night and when Gulf invited Mew to just sleep over at his condo, they both had a peaceful sleep in each other’s arms.

  
  
  


That resulted in them oversleeping and P’Best scolding Mew of not keeping his promise; and Gulf, that little devil, wasn’t helping his P’Mew and was just watching his manager scold the older with a small satisfied, playful smirk.

  
  


It was only during their live events and their personal video calls that the two of them were able to see each other. It was tough, especially for Mew who constantly whines at his tua aeng that me misses hugging him, but then they always remind each other how they are at the peak of their careers; how this is the perfect time that they can repay their fans with their work.

  
  
  


So they persevere and work harder.

  
  
  


When TharnType season 2 finally aired in the first week of November, the feedback of the fans was totally overwhelming. They were trending in Thailand and Worldwide on the night of their first episode, and stayed in the #1 trending for the next episodes that followed. Their fanbases continued to grow and more and more people are paying attention to their series and MewGulf’s solo works that got them more brand deals. It was as if Bangkok was suddenly plastered with their photos for all the endorsement deals they received.

  
  
  


It was fulfilling. It fills Mew and Gulf’s heart with such immense pride that they were able to meet, if not exceed, the expectations their supporters have for the second and final season that they get to be Tharn and Type.

  
  


***

  
  


“Stop touching your hair,” his mother smacked his hand and he pouted. Gulf can see his sister getting done with her make-up and his dad was getting down the stairs with his suit. His mother is also wearing a white dress that reaches her ankle. It was a dress he hasn’t seen before, so he’s willing to bet that she got some shopping tips from someone’s mother.

  
  
  


“Is that a new dress, Mae?” He asked.

  
  
  


”Oh, yeah. I went shopping with Mew’s mom the other day,” she answered before she went to her husband to fix his tie.

  
  
  


When everyone was ready, they thanked the makeup artists and hairstylist and went outside the house. Gulf was about to open their family car when he was pushed to the side by his sister. “We’re not riding this car,” she said, and the younger looked at their gate where his parents already are.

  
  
  


And saw Mew opening the car door for them.

  
  
  


Grace took her brother’s hand and dragged him towards the white Toyota Fortuner. Grace greeted Mew and the other offered his hand as he helped Gulf’s sister get inside the car and closed the door. Once Gulf’s family is inside, Mew turns his attention to the younger who’s watching him. “Hey. Happy graduation,” he said and wrapped an arm around Gulf’s waist for a hug before he opened the passenger seat door and helped Gulf get in. 

  
  


When the five of them are ready, Mew drove out of Traitipattanapong’s residence and headed towards Gulf’s university. The car ride was filled with small talk, and in no time, they reached the university gates. Fans are already seen in the area, and it was the reason Mew drove a car that he hasn’t used before and one that is darkly tinted so they’ll be able to get in without attracting attention immediately. He hiked the Gucci shades he’s wearing up his nose, and smoothly drove at a private parking space reserved for the faculty members. Mew had asked his manager to find them a private space so as to not get swarmed by the fans, and he’s glad that they were allowed to use this parking lot.

  
  
  


Gulf’s family told them they’ll get inside first, and P’Best was already there to guide them to their seats. So they were left alone inside the car. Gulf looked to his side and smiled at his phi, “You didn’t tell me you’ll be driving us here.”

  
  
  


The other chuckled, before he pushed his shades to rest on his head and met Gulf’s eyes. “Then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

  
  
  


Their gazes locked for a moment, soft smiles on their faces when Gulf whispered, “I miss you, tee ruk.” It had been quite some time that they were able to finally meet face to face without cameras flashing. With their increasing popularity, such instances became more rare and they both treasure every second they get to be just them; basking in the warmth of their affections.

  
  
  


”I missed you too, tua aeng,” Mew replied before he reached towards the glove compartment on Gulf’s side. The younger watched as his P’Mew took out a box and passed it towards him.

  
  
  


Taking the box, Gulf gave his phi a smile before he flipped the box open. There was a silver bracelet with a knot design sitting timidly in the middle of the box. The other watched Gulf’s expression, before reaching out to pluck the accessory out it’s container and gently took Gulf’s right hand. Gulf watched as his P’Mew gently clasped the bracelet on his wrist before his hand was guided up, and a soft kiss was placed on his hand. Two pairs of eyes meet, soft intensity balancing each other out as Mew said, “Happy graduation.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Photos and clips of Gulf’s graduation became the hot topic the following days.

  
  
  


TV and Radio show MCs had been gushing about the sweetness the fans were able to capture during the young actor’s graduation day. There were photos of Mew in his white Balenciaga polo holding a fan and wiping his co-star’s sweat as the younger interacted with their fans. Mew had even pleasantly told the fans to focus on Gulf because it was his nong’s day and he’s just there as a personal assistant, which of course, caused the entire fandom to swoon. There were photos of Mew with his DSLR camera takings shots of Gulf when the younger took his diploma, then he was taking pictures of Gulf with his family after the ceremony, then took it his task to also take Gulf’s photo with his fans. And when the TharnType casts came, they all had knowing smiles as they watched Mew fuss over Gulf’s suit or his hair.

  
  
  


The wanjaai fandom were all on their toes as they got to interact with Mew as if he was just there as a fan himself. They conversed with him, and the actor responded playfully and even showed them the photos he took of them. But then they would squeal in delight when Gulf would walk towards his P’Mew and steal him away from the fans with an adorable smile. Gulf’s family already left the university with his manager, driving them to the restaurant Mew had reserved for the evening. Mew and Gulf stayed with the fans for some time before they both bid farewell. And when the fans asked if they were leaving together, they both just smiled and gave them a wai, leaving in the same direction.

  
  
  


At 11:55pm the same day, Gulf posted a series of photos; one of him with his diploma, with his family then with his fans. He posted this in his IG and twitter account with a caption, “I won’t be here without all of your support. 📸: @mewsuppasit”. The likes and comments flooded the photos almost immediately after the younger posted it.

  
  
  


And then at 11:59pm, another set of photos was posted by Gulf. The first one was a photo of Mew and Gulf standing close together, an arm around Gulf’s waist and a bouquet of red and white roses on Gulf’s hands. The next photo was a selfie shot of the two of them; Gulf was the one holding the phone and they were both wearing big smiles; Mew was laughing, his chin rested on the younger’s shoulder and his nose touching Gulf’s cheek. From the angle the photo was taken, the veiny arms of the other was captured wrapped around Gulf’s waist, and Gulf was obviously sitting on his phi’s lap. And the last photo was a candid shot of Mew. He was smiling, a camera on his neck as he interacted with their fans happily and showing them the photos he took with his camera.

  
  
  


And Gulf captioned it with, 

  
  
  


“You make me strive to be the best version of myself. Thank you, Boo.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Speculations about the MewGulf ship being real caused a storm in the social media. Every interview that Mew and Gulf had, be it together or individually, the question about their relationship was always broached. In which, the two would always respond with a polite laugh or a pleasant smile followed by the words, “We”re phi-nong who loves each other”.

  
  
  


And although it frustrates some, the answer is true. The fans can see the way they genuinely care about each other; just with their looks and their subtle actions. Their never ending interactions in IG or twitter, sending each other gifts when one has an event the other cannot attend. The constant encouraging messages they share to each other in their posts. The rare photos they share to the world of them spending time together; be it a photo of them successfully watching a movie together in a cinema late at night without getting noticed or a photo of them making merit together with their families. It was more than enough evidence to see how real they are.

  
  
  


And besides, P’Mew had made it clear before in their 2019 interview:

  
  
  


_”If I have a special person, I won’t hide it but I won’t broadcast it either.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this fanfiction made you smile.  
> Thank you for those who read and supported this work of mine.


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